Flipped: Back Again (L.T. Sequel to Flipped)

Chapter 4: What To Do Now

The drive to Doncaster was long and frustrating; it went much slower than I desired. I was just so anxious to get as far as I could from her. Taking a plane would've been too complicated and in my state of mind, I wouldn't be able to function with all the commotion around me. I just needed some quiet time to myself to meditate and think.

I pull up to a small hotel close to the stadium and camp there for the night. The room was decent enough. I was content with just having a place to rest my head after such a stressful day. I didn't see that coming at all. I thought the only obstacle I'd be facing today was getting engaged. I didn't expect to have Eliza suddenly appear in my life again; that threw me for a loop. I'm still dumbfounded that of all days or places, she chose today! Eleanor would unknowingly pick the one person in the world's exhibit who was responsible for ruining my life.

Why.. All I can ask myself is why, after all this time, she had to ruin this moment too. I was finally happy, finally moved on, finally going to make a real commitment to the girl I loved and who loved me back. I was ready and now I'm down in the dumps, not sure of anything. Seeing Eliza brought back a whole bunch of shit I wasn't ready to relive- or wanted to.

If it had been a few years earlier, I think I'd be better off. I could've seen her again while I was already heart-broken, gotten over the shock and been fine. But the last time I saw her was the day in the hospital. My last memory was promising to see her the next day and confessing my love while she was laid out. I was left with still a million things to get off my chest and she took that opportunity away when she disappeared. Now, instead of waiting to see her and get the closure owed to me, I suppressed the feelings and locked them away. I saw no point of ever exposing them since I would never see Eliza again. That seemed like the right choice at the time, but now I see I was so wrong. I should've gave it a chance to heal instead of hiding it and form into a scar.

When morning came, I was still a wreck. My eyes stung with sleeplessness and my chest ached with the pain of unanswered questions and blissful memories. The clock read "8:30", but you wouldn't be able tell with all the clouds outside. My phone had several missed calls and texts from Eleanor. Shes probably worried sick. I cant find the decency to respond to any of her messages though; I'm too consumed with myself to care at the moment. I can however, make it to the mini bar.

I must've popped open every little bottle of alcohol and liquor there was. The carpet was littered with them, everywhere; most from last night. I held the last little bottle of vodka in my hand, nursing it slowly as I sat back on the wall. I haven't been this gone since I was in school.

There were times where I had terrible relapses and literally drank the days away. I would either go home, or to my dorm, and lock myself in my room and just down anything I could get my hands on. Anything that was strong enough to fight the pain inside me was good enough. I couldn't do it on my own and the deliriousness helped me forget. But when I sobered up, I always felt ten times worse than the last.

I was at that point again and nothing had changed. I was still a sap, bawling and wasting away, with a drink in my hand and a girl on my mind that didn't need to be. I was confused, frustrated, and hurt at the same time. I was ashamed about feeling all these things at once and embarrassed to know that I couldn't control it. I'm a grown fucking man who cant get over some childhood crush.

Who am I kidding.. We were so much more..

My phone rings and I actually decide to reach over and answer the damn thing.

"What." I snap.

"Louis! Thank god, you finally answered." Eleanor's worried voice exclaims through the phone. "What happened to ya, where'd you go off to last night?"