𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗯𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲- neteyam x oc

19

Alyara's pov

''We didn't find him'' the words keep repeating over and over in my mind.

I thought they were playing a joke on me, expecting one of them to tell me that he is safe, that they were just playing with me. But no. He isn't here.

It's crazy how some words, can completely change your life. I want to say something back, to shout for them to keep searching, but nothing comes out of my mouth. My heart feels like it has been ripped out. I can't even breathe, tears starting to stream out of my eyes. I burrow my face into my hands, feeling immense guilt. If only I was there earlier. Or if I came in prepared, instead I ran into the camp empty handed. Don't blame me that love made me crazy.

The two men approach me, with the intention of comforting me, but that's the last thing I want right now. I push them away, my vision getting blurry because of the tears in my eyes.

''I'm sorry'' I whisper to Jake, who was also worried of his son. I can see he is trying his best to not break down. He had so much pressure on his back, and I felt horrible seeing him that way.

He doesn't reply, but just forces a smile. ''He was your mate, you have every right to be angry.''

He was right. I was mad but so sad too, I just didn't know what to feel anymore. At that moment, I wanted to cut off all my emotions. Not cry or shout. I just nodded my head and looked away.

Both of them left, leaving me by myself. That's when I started choking on my own sobs, horrible thoughts overwhelming me. I was worried sick and I felt empty. I wanted to make myself little and disappear. I just want to turn it off.

Someone knocked on the door, and to be honest, visitors were the last thing I wanted right now. Although it was rude to kick them out, and I probably scared my family.

''Come in!'' I shout without an expression on my face.

It was Tsireya, the sensitive girl that was worried sick about me. She came in shaking with tears in her eyes. I opened my arms for a hug from my little sister, and she immediately ran into my arms. I flinched a little when she grazed the bullet scar. That was the last thing on my mind though.

''Oh how I was worried! It's been three days you were passed out!'' she says sobbing. ''If only I stopped you

''Aww Reya I'm sorry'' I whisper, caressing her hair. ''It's not your fault''

''I'm sorry about Neteyam'' she mutters.

Fuck.

Not this again.

I don't reply, knowing that I would start crying again. I tried keeping a straight face, not letting out my emotions. I felt bad for not comforting her, for letting her now that I'm okay, but it was like there was nothing I could say, the lump in my throat. So when she left, I said nothing. I ust watched as she slowly walked out, her ears and head low. I hated myself for it, knowing I probably ust hurt her even more.

I pressed my legs against on my chest and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and clearing my mind but I couldn't. I stayed like that for a while, trying to calm down my breathing as I wiped the tears off my eyes.

Another noise made me jump a little, another knock on the door, before he let himself in. It was Ao'nung. I swore he had teary eyes, but just like me he didn't show his emotions. He slowly approach walked himself, but not too close.

''How are you?'' he asks with a worried tone.

''I miss him'' I say, not really being able to keep it inside.

''I know you do. After all this happened, I realized how much you loved him-'' my brother whispers, taking another step and wrapping his arms around me.

I melt into the hug. Ao'nung wasn't a physical person, so him hugging me was new for me. He always treated me like his sister, even if he knew I was adopted. Yes, sometimes he would be mean but I understood where it was coming from. Either way, he always apologized after (or Ronal would whoop his ass.)

''Thank you'' I answer, immensely grateful that I had people around me. Neteyam wasn't here though.

And shit. I was crying again.

''He's not gone, is he?'' I whisper.

''They haven't told me shit, I tried to know but it's  a 'secret'...I'm so sorry Alyara'' he answers.

I feel my heart sink.

''Oh.

Don't worry, they're gonna find him'' he answers, patting my back.

I just force a smile, as he leaves the room.

10 days later...

It was been 10 days without Neteyam. 10 days that felt like months, the days long and empty Each day getting worse, like a piece of my heart missing. It always the same, I'm not speaking to anyone, and I stay in my room all day. I want to be left alone. I know they want to talk to me, but I just cut them off. Talking to anyone is the last thing I want to do. I want to sleep all day, to stop the overwhelming thoughts in my head. I feel empty and like there is no point anymore, and I hate it. The way I feel. The way I get my hopes up, hoping he is coming back. Or perhaps the way . I guess that's why they call it forbbiden love.

I don't know what to do anymore. I cant go on a walk, the pain in my lower abdomen stopping me from making a lot of movements. I was really dumb for going there in the middle of the war, unprepared. It's not like I regretted it much, I survived anyways. No big deal.

I was with Jake and Norm, in the technical room. That's where the spent most of their time now, and I just followed them around. I did not want to go outside either way, and I grew pretty fond of the Sky person. He wasn't constanly asking me questions on how I felt, and it helped me clear my mind a bit. Tonowari and Ronal constantly tried talking to me, but I pushed them off and I regretted it. Jake spent more time with his family, who was 'grieving' after Neteyam's disappereance. I did not want to say death, because a part of me felt like he was alive, wherever he was. I did not see him cry, he had to be strong for his family, but I knew he was about to break down. On his part, Lo'ak looked the saddest. LIke he felt the guilt, of telling Neteyam go. Jake was mad at him too, and my heart ached for him. He got closer to Tsireya, who was constantly comforting him. Neytiri was different, it was clear from her lifeless eyes. Tuk and Kiri didn't have a smile anymore, which they usually did. Neteyam was a great big brother for all of them, and he was now gone. Kiri was the oldest sibling now. She was once the youngest, the middle and now oldest. Just thinking about that, made me want to throw up.

I sat reluctantly in the seat at the corner of the big room, where most of the research was happening. They both talking about something, that I couldn't hear quite well, just the word Neteyam was enough to draw my attention. My ears lift up, as I was trying to hear more.

Suddenly, the big screen in front of them lit up, earning a confused look from both of them. It caught my attention too, by the buzzing noise it made. It never made such noise, and to say it was the first time was a understatement.

I slowly walk over the giant screen to get a better view.

My heart dropped.

Neteyam.

a/n

ugh this so so bad 😭😭 like I had no motivation to write these days and it's been a flop fr... so sorry abt that

ik it's a short chapter! I'm really trying my best 🧍‍♀️anw voted and comments are always appreciated :)

ALSO I made a tiktok 😇 it's @/jakesoolii
(I actually post in there cause apparently editing is my new obsession)

😘😘😘