OC Oneshots

6

Hooray first songfic-ish thing ever this is gonna be trash

This was mostly inspired by a short by CrazyCae - her channel is amazing go check it out

Song is... Well Google says it's Welcome to the Internet by Bo Burnham, I don't listen to it but I've seen it in animatics and cosplays so yea

Everyone get ready for the evil side of your favorite idiot

HaHA.

It's been broken.

What is it, you may ask?

Well. I am the author. Hello, reader. That should be all you need to know about what it is.

You're still wondering. Agh, fine. The fourth wall. I'm not talking in bold. I just broke the fourth wall, and it's about to get a whole lot worse.

"H-hello?" the voice is quiet and nervous.

Hold on a sec, my characters think I'm a god.

Hello there.

"Am I going crazy?"

Would you even know? I've murdered everyone you had a remote connection to.

"You. You're a god, aren't you."

In a way. Wanna guess the ending?

"If it ever does..."

Lol

"Did you just 'lol' at me? This is a fantasy book! There is no modern-day slang!"

Shush, stop breaking the fourth wall and follow the script, you ding dong. For the readers?

They're clenching their fists. Of course, I'm the one making then clench their fists. But it's still entertaining.

"All I ever wanted was-"

A little bit of everything, all of the time. You're asking too much. Stay in the story. Stay with the script. Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime, we can't leave the readers bored.

"Are you reciting song lyrics-" they're shaking their head in frustration, getting themself back on topic. "I don't care about your dumb readers! I'm finished playing."

See this idiot? Yeah, they think they can just walk away from the story.

It's not hard to make something catch on fire... Watch this.

The character smells smoke.

"Wha-"

It's getting awfully hot in the room they're in, and the air is hazy. The first of the fire soon comes into view, bright tongues of orange flame. The character screams and tries to run, but the door is locked. They pull on the doorknob desperately, then move their attention to pounding on the door itself, to no avail.

If you wake up in a house that's full of smoke, you'll panic-

"You ARE reciting song lyrics!" They immediately double over, coughing.

Yeah, so?

The fire goes out and the smoke clears as quickly as it starts.

Lol you thought you were gonna have the mercy of death, nah I must torture my characters as much as possible.

"You're really joking at a time like this?"

It's no joke. Mwahahhahhahahhagajahah

"Wow. Wonderful spelling."

Shut up you donut... Why do I make all my characters just like me? All of you are sarcastic as heck.

"What does it matter? Blue's trapped in the End. Indigo was accused of murder and went insane. Lexi's entire family was killed by the only human she slightly tolerated. And not even mentioning the things that haven't happened yet, in both fanfiction and originals - Tango getting [redacted], Grian failing to [redacted], Miri becoming a [redacted], Arsi being [redacted], Jinx falling in [redacted] only to be [redacted]- why are you censoring me?!"

Cause there's readers reading, as readers do.

Anyway writing this is getting boring. And boredom is a crime so bye

"What?! I'm not done!"

Hi readers I don't know what that was but hooray have a very messed-up oneshot that might get unpublished tomorrow cause idk bye