"And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again
But not this time around"
She felt empty, lost, like her existence didn't matter to him, where had they started and what had this come down to, she wanted to get out of there, wanted to run but her legs moved so slow, probably it was all the hurt that burdened her, she didn't know what to make of it but she knew she needed this trip, away, she needed to find her mentor and also be away from him..
She left for the village that ranawat would supposedly be there, she left after asking pkc where he lived, she didn't even bother informing her mom or vidhushi, hell she wanted to be all alone, ow why would she? She sat in the bus and stared into nothingness.. She pondered how they got here, how such strong feelings resulted in only hurt over time, she wondered why they said love makes you stronger?
The way she craved for him to be beside her right now, she knew she'd along the way, lost a part of herself, given a part of herself away to him, the part where he could have control over her emotions, she'd never fallen in love before he came along, she knew she had willingly succumbed herself under his control so many times and now she didn't know how to get out it, she took an overnight bus and obviously there was no network on the way..
He hadn't seen her in college today, yesterday the gun at her head was giving him nightmares whilst he was awake.. He couldn't bear it, he had been so restless plus he hadn't met her at all, they had argued over the mentor and that was it, they hadn't spoken after that, he picked up his phone and called, and called, it was unavailable, he could feel her absence, in a way he knew didn't just mean from college..
And with her, he always trusted his instincts, he never wanted to take chances, he kept calling until he found himself outside her dorm, he barged in on not seeing her on her bed, he asked vidhushi if she knew where sanyukta was, but she had no idea.. His heart sank, had he been to harsh that time? Then he concluded, she's not someone who would get affected by him yelling..
So where was she? He decided to track her phone and he found her going to a village, a village were ragini's brothers lived, he was so very confused and his panic level just notched up by miles, what the hell, he had warned her "don't you dare Risk your life again.." yet why was she going to this Goddamn place, he found himself on his bike heading her way at half past two, he didn't and couldn't wait till the sun rose!
She reached there early morning at about 5 when she received some signal again and she got many messages from randhir and her mom, she texted her mom back about some DT task but didn't respond to randhir, on her way she had made up her mind, she wouldn't confront him this time, anyway what were they? Last time they were dating so she had the right to, this time well it was just assumption that he still loved her the way she did..
Assumptions aren't necessarily true.. His call startled her, what was his issue now? He never responded when she wanted him to, anyway he would just yell some more if he found out where she was, he was so mad about this mentor topic, she just ignored, put her phone away and tried to look for her genius mentor..
"You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore"
