What dreams are made of... (Between Us/Hemp Rope)

Help me too...

Thank you for taking the time to read.

I Hope you enjoy :)

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Waan finally finds an empty seat once everyone leaves. The day was a sad one for the kids who had to say goodbye to their parents. Everything went off without a hitch, even though it was a sad day, Waan had did his best to make it a beautiful ceremony, wanting them to have the best of the best when their kids had to say goodbye to them. Rider clung to him the whole time, his younger siblings choosing to stay with his parents. Thankfully Waan's family had been good people so they were really there for them in their time of need. Looking around he doesn't see his boyfriend anywhere. He and Tul hadn't been in the same room for more then 5 minutes since they went to the hospital and got the kids. He sighs putting his head in his hands, dreading the conversation he knows he cant avoid anymore now that the funerals have been concluded. He hears someone coming so he lifts his head, he watches the little girl Rosie walk towards him, immediately he straightens in his seat.

She approaches him unsure, not wanting to disturb but needing him to hear her out. "May I sit?" He wakes up and gives her the chair, walking to get another one for himself. He sits next to her, spine straight, shoulders square, awkward. She smiles, yes she smiled, for the first time since she got the news of her parents death. "You don't have to be so weird around me, I'm the kid remember?" He just gives her a sheepish grin and rubs the back of his neck nodding.

"Sorry. I don't know how to be around people. Incase you don't know, I'm a very recluse person."

"Meaning you keep to yourself?" He nods. She takes in a breath knowing she needs to say her peace before she is probably put in a foster home. She had been so young when her elder brother was murdered that she didn't understand any of the circumstances around his death. She had blamed P'Rider until she was old enough to understand. But by that time, it was too late. She had lost not 1 brother that day but 2, and losing the second brother was all her fault. She hadn't spoken to him since then even though they lived in the same house and ate at the same table. After she knew what actually happened she had felt like absolute crap, how could she go to her brother and apologize after everything she had put him through? She knows that now that their parents are gone, he will have nothing to do with her or P'Torch. She feels herself start to shake at the though. She deserved it though, who would want her after they were treated that way?

He watches her closely and sees the turmoil she is experiencing. Not wanting to force her to speak until she is ready Waan just sits there silently. He takes her hand in his and squeezes it, letting the kid know that even if they sit here in silence, its okay, he is right there.

She takes a deep breath and says what's on her mind, "You know when you came to our house and spoke to my mom I was there, hiding in the dark but listening to every word. I had prayed to P'Force for a miracle and then there you were, an angel sent to us by P'Force." She hears him gasp at her side but she continues, looking straight ahead so she doesn't lose her courage. "I know I'm just a kid but even I can tell when someone is pure, angelic even. I think that of you P'Waan. You remind me so much of my oldest brother, he too was good to his core and look where he ended up because of it."

"That doesn't mean that we have to be anything but good. There are bad people in this world kid but we have to remain good, so that one day when we are called home, we can meet the people who left us with a clean heart and conscience."

She gives a snort that is not humorous but rather bitter. "You may feel that at the end but I know that I wont. The things I put my brother through... Blaming him, hating him, I never thought once about what he was going through. He was the closest to P'Force and I just put everything on him, that's something I can never clear from my conscience." She puts her head down in shame.

"Are you sure you're 12?" 

She hears the humor in his voice and it eases her inner conflict a bit. How can he put her at such ease? "Yes P'Waan." She smiles at him with her whole heart, wanting him to see the level of respect she has for him. "I want to thank you, for everything you have done for my parents. I know they didn't deserve it, they strayed from the path and couldn't get back on but you never held it against them. I'm glad P'Rider has you, God knows his own blood turned on him. But since you came into his life, he has been someone even my mother couldn't recognize. I have never seen him happy since P'Force was alive but when he met you, he smiled more, he was more caring and understanding of others. He changed. Even though I am 12, I'm here asking you to please love and care for him. We failed him when he needed us, please don't fail him." She breaks, even though she had tried to contain herself she just couldn't hold back the guilt, tears, shame that was attacking her. 

He puts his arm around her shoulder, "Its okay kid. He doesn't hold anything against you or your brother. Tragedies like this can either break people apart or bring them together. P'Force dying ripped you all apart, let this bring you all together." He runs her arm trying to make her stop crying.

She looks up at him the same way she did the first day she met him. An angel, sent from her brother to mend their hearts. "I love my brother but its too late to heal our relationship. He only has you now. When I enter foster care, I will do my best to try and become just like you. I can never repay you or your family for everything but I hope you know that I will be grateful forever." She watches something cross his face before he hides it again. Thinking she is seeing things she just sits there silent again. Treasuring the last few moments she has with these people, come tomorrow she will be entered in a new life, dreading it but also accepting it at the same time. This is her karma for every bad deed she has done to her brother. She sends a prayer to the heavens, this time to her parents, "Please if you can hear me mom, dad, forgive me. I promise that I will be better and do better. As much as I loved you both, I have seen the error of your ways and I don't want to make the same mistakes, using my grief to completely destroy all the goodness I know I still have, I will be better so please support me and love me. Help me."

"They will kid, and so will I." She turns to him shocked, not knowing that she was speaking out loud and he had hear every word. If he had any doubts, talking to her had cleared his resolve. He may one day in the future regret this but he was also sure that this is meant to happen. His heart is the only thing holding him back. He can feel in his bones this is the right thing to do. He closes his eyes and sends his own prayer to the heavens. 'Help me too...'

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Tul watches from the window, his boyfriend and the little princess. It still amazes him how soft and kind his boyfriend is with these kids. One day he will make a great dad. He also sees the resolve come over his boyfriend. He moves away and plasters his back against the wall, knowing that he has a big decision to make. Since they got news of Riders parents deaths this has been on his mind, he has been preparing but he still isn't there. "I hope you don't hate me P'Waan but this is something I cant do. Not now. Forgive me." He closes his eyes and feels his heart breaking in his chest, the pain becoming unbearable. He opens his eyes and kicks off the wall righting himself when he sees P'Waan standing there just looking at him. They both know what the other is going to say. Unfortunately the time has come, they cant avoid this conversation anymore. One of them is going to break the other and even though it kills him, he knows that he will be that someone. He walks towards his doom, fighting the voices in his head screaming for him to stop. He stops in front of P'Waan, "Its okay. I understand."

"Tul, I..."

"I'm sorry P'Waan, I cant." He chokes back the sob in his throat.

"I understand, I'm just asking for some time to get this all straightened out."

He shakes his head, "No P, I cant. I'm not ready for this... Please don't hate me."

His gaze softens and he puts his hand against his cheek, "I could never."

He pulls his hand to his mouth and kisses his palm. He doesn't look to P'Waan, he just side steps him and walks away. His feet finding it difficult, each step feeling heavy. He walks until he reaches his taxi, he gets in and doesn't take the chance looking back, incase P'Waan is standing there. He bends over and finally allows himself to cry. Why did he just do that? Why did he just end them?

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