Loving You Secretly

Three shots of blowjob

Weeks and days we've been texting each other. It's like Elle and I were having this red strings attached, I feel like we've been destined to be together.

I couldn't sleep without my heart thumping as if it would jump out of my chest or smile like an idiot. It bothered me as I count the days we'd be in the province, soon. I'm extremely excited, yes, but also nervous.

Have you ever feel like this before?
It isn't our first time to meet each other but seeing her again is like a first time. I don't actually know what to do. I've been lacking enough sleep for freaking weeks and this made huge bags under my eyes.
She makes me crazy, not that it's her fault.
....
Sunday afternoon, Alex invited me to go their house. We'll be partying for sure. I couldn't lie to Elle but I also can't reject my friends.

So, what I did is, I went to the party and told my friends that I have a curfew coz mom said so. This idiot friends of mine laughed at me. Just imagine my situation.

Girls are also here. As wild as our generation and with the influence of alcohol, some of them were making out with my friends. On the couch, inside the cabinets, at the stairs, in the rooms, everywhere.

Do Alex's parents allow this to happen to their house? nope. Why aren't they home? They're never home. They were always somewhere, busy with their family business.

The loud music blasts in Alex's house.
"Hey, dude. Why aren't you drinking?" asks Jonathan, the badass in my circle of friends.
He changes his girlfriends weekly.

They gave me three shots of blowjob and it burned my throat. I don't know how many shots I've done after that. All I know is, I was getting wild, dancing with the people inside the house.

I don't remember if I ever made out with someone or not. I don't even know when and how did I make it to our home.
...

The first thing that I woke up to this morning was my headache. It feels like it'll explode. The second thing is guilt. I literally lied to Elle about last night. The third is the new number saved in my contact list and the pictures in my gallery. It was me hugging some random girls each of my side and the other one is me, sitting with another girl on my lap.

And it feels shit. What would Elle think about me?

Am I going to tell her the truth or keep it as a secret and forget that it ever happened. I swore to Elle and I wouldn't take the risk to ruin our relationship, so the answer is the second option.

She said she just trust me enough because she loves me. It feels good to have her trust, but it felt worse because I know, I lied.