What The People Don't See

What A Shame

Going back to the lads' apartment was the last thing I wanted to do but it wasn't as if I had a choice. I'd downed two cocktails, my foot was growing numb and I hadn't a clue where I parked the car. Plus, I had the feeling that if I even suggested taking a bus or train home, Eloise would pound my face in. She hadn't let go of Pete since she came to and they were tittering along with their arms linked, looking like an old couple out for their evening stroll. And every time Pete said something remotely funny, El would lose her shit and laugh so hard I thought she might piss herself. Ross flinched beside me whenever her raucous snorts pierced the air and if I wasn't feeling so miserable, I probably would've been laughing too.

"Is she always like this?" Ross asked, making me jump in shock. I'd been so lost in my own grim thoughts that I'd completely forgotten his presence next to me.

"What? Oh, um, no...only if she's really drunk or if she's into someone..." I felt my cheeks begin to burn just thinking about what had almost happened earlier. He had me so flustered that I couldn't even bear to look at him, let alone talk.

"Oh so which is it then?" he said.

I turned so that I was walking backwards, facing Pete and Eloise, examining them with interest. El didn't usually go for guys like Pete. She liked big, buff guys, the ones that play rugby and eat raw eggs. They also had to be older than her, and not just nineteen or twenty year olds, but much older, like Colin Firth older. As a matter of fact, Colin Firth was pretty much her dream man. But hey, she was hardly going to refuse a member of her favourite band, even if he was only slightly taller than her in his creepers.

"I honestly don't know" I said.

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The apartment was a lot smaller than I expected. I imagined a penthouse with their own private elevator and four massive bedrooms for each of them. I pictured a kitchen with marble counters and one of those fridges that dispenses ice and a huge flat screen TV that took up all four corners of a wall.

The only thing that took up all four corners of the walls was the boxes. They were everywhere; overflowing with clothes, shoes, books, records. There was a tiny little kitchenette joining a living area, with a bathroom just of it. There were two bedrooms, both so small you could only just about squeeze in bunk beds and a tiny chest of drawers. But none of that mattered. It was there home.

"About time lads! The pizza's getting cold!" Josh yelled from the sofa. Pete and Ross practically bounded over, throwing themselves at the box. Seconds later, Ross's head popped into view, two Hawaiian slices drooping from his hands.

"Come on Stella, I saved you some!" I had to chew on my lip to stop myself from grinning like an idiot at his over-excited face. I took a few steps before there was an enormous outburst as Pete made a grab at the slice in Ross's hand.

"NO! THAT'S STELLA'S!" Ross roared, swinging the slice away from Pete's clutches and slapping Evan in the face with it.

I stopped dead in my tracks. I was now gnawing on my lip so hard that it began to bleed. If I didn't allow myself to laugh soon, I would probably suffocate. The room was dead silent as everyone's eyes flittered between Ross and Evan. The only noise was Josh's heavy breathing as he struggled to keep back his own laughter. I was praying to God that one of the lads would break first. If I laughed, my awkwardness that had been bubbling up all night would explode, and I'd probably end up snorting like a pig.

A chunk of pineapple slowly slid down Evan's nose and I just couldn't take it anymore. As soon as I opened my mouth, Pete and Josh began to laugh insanely too, closely followed by Ross and Evan. We laughed for a good three minutes before we finally started to calm down and Evan wiped at his face with a napkin, cursing under his breath.

"You know what Ross? You're a right fecking eejit!" he said, but he was still laughing. "Oh, and I think I deserve an extra slice for that."

Josh and Pete scooted over to make room for me on the sofa and I gratefully took the slice from Ross.

"Thanks for defending it so bravely in my honour" I said, nibbling on the crust.

Ross grinned. "Sorry about that. I get really protective when it comes to food."

I sat quietly for a few minutes, listening to the lads' conversation. They talked and argued about the most normal things; what songs they should put on tomorrow's set list, who forgot to record The Simpsons, how Josh really needed to cut down on the time he spent in the shower. It wasn't until Evan said he was hitting the sack when I suddenly remembered Eloise. I hopped up from the sofa and bolted for the door when I spotted her curled up in one of the clothes boxes, sound asleep.

"Well, someone's knackered!" Pete exclaimed, coming up behind me, and without even pausing a second, he scooped her up and carried her towards one of the rooms. "I'd say she'd be comfier on my bed, I'll take the couch tonight."

"Nighty night" Josh yawned and he followed Evan into their room, shutting the door behind him.

I turned to find Ross standing a couple of feet away, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. Oh my god, just say something already, I wanted to scream, but instead I plastered on a smile and raised my foot to show him the progress.

"Lookin' pretty good, huh?" I said and Ross nodded enthusiastically, clearly delighted that I'd started the conversation. But for once in my life, I was running out of things to say. My phone suddenly buzzed against my thigh. It was probably Mum or Dad wondering where the hell I was. They were never going to believe me if I told them the truth. Ross waited until my phone had settled before taking a deep breath and looking right at me. Oh God...

"I was going to ask you something earlier, you know, when we were in that chipper's, before the lads came...and I was just wondering if maybe-"

Pete suddenly came bursting into the room wearing nothing but his boxers, whistling at the top of his lungs. I glanced at Ross who looked like he could kill someone and found myself biting my lip all over again.

"Here ya go" Pete said, handing me a pile of clothes. "These are pyjammies for you and Eloise. I left her on the bottom bunk so you can take the top."

I grinned in thanks and quickly hurried for the room, without even saying goodnight to Ross. I shut the door behind me, sighing in relief. My heart was thudding so loud it was all I could hear. I flicked on the bedside lamp and dressed El in the 'pyjamas' that Pete gave me, which consisted of a blue shirt and checkered bottoms. I was extra careful not to wake her; I was not up for another hour of her crazed drunken state. I climbed out of my own clothes and pulled on the other shirt, which had The Beatles on it and a pair of grey woolly trackies.

I hoisted myself up on to the top bunk, lying on top of the covers. The celling was dotted with the lights that shone in from the street and I watched them flicker and change as cars swept past. My phone was perched on my stomach and I slowly flicked it open, wondering what story I'd have to make up for Mum and Dad. But there was no text from them. Instead there were three missed calls and voice messages from Adam. I dialled the number, listening impatiently to the robotic voice telling me to press 1. I did so, wondering what the hell Adam had wanted so early in the morning. The message began to play. Heavy, jagged breaths came down the line, as if he'd just run a marathon. I clutched the phone tight, listening intently for any words, but nothing. I dialled again, and this time, the message was loud and clear. Even so, I had to play it five times to make certain I was hearing right.

"Stella, please pick up...I need you to...okay...I miss you and I just need you to...I just need you! I really fucking love you, Stella. I still love you."