gay || afi (side lashton)

Chapter 3

These were the times when I think about how my mother had been right all along. My mom used to always ask me if I felt anything for Ashton, well that was until I met Calum. We weren't that serious or anything but I guess he was a distraction from my growing feelings for Ashton. But ever since we broke up, it's like I didn't even care. I didn't have any feelings of sorrow or remorse, it was just like losing something not that valuable and it made me feel sick to pit of my stomach of how insensitive I was with him, but that's how I felt. I barely felt anything when he left.

I guess I've always been in love with Ashton. His curly, dirt blonde hair and hazel eyes that could melt me within a second's gaze. Unfortunately for me, he can never be attracted to someone like me. A girl. These were the times where I also think about how unfair the world is...I mean, god can't just give me Ashton without expecting me to fall for him. Who can can not fall in love with Ashton? It's like he was placed here in this earth to show me how much I was missing out on.

The doorbell rang just in time and I happily skipped my way downstairs. My mom gave me a weird look but continued slicing the cucumber, trying her best to not question me about my sudden change of behavior. These past few days, I've been overly depressed and now I'm jumping up and down from excitement (well, not literally) in my best dress. I opened the door in one quick swing, revealing a nervous looking Ashton. At first, I was very pleased to see him there standing on my front porch but all of the happiness in me drained when I realized why Ashton looked so nervous. Beside him is the tall blonde boy with blue eyes who I dreaded to see. My eyes widened and I quickly pulled Ashton in, slamming the door on the boy's face. "What the fuck is he doing here?" I hissed at him, balling his shirt into my fists.

"I'm sorry," he pleaded softly, trying to get me off of him but to his dismay, I wasn't budging. I groaned and shook him, "What about the whole 'I'm gonna make it up to you' thing?" I questioned angrily.

"I-" he started but the doorbell rang once again, and I sighed, letting go of Ashton's shirt. I opened the door tiredly and Luke stood there awkwardly, waiting for permission to come in. He looked like a lost puppy and I couldn't slam the door on his face again.

"I'm sorry," Luke told me, his eyes filled with sincerity, "I visited Ashton today to maybe watch a movie or something but I didn't know you guys had plans. Well, he told me afterwards but I didn't believe him, until now," he sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets, "I'm Luke, by the way."

"Um, Carrie," I nodded, my hands balling into fists. I wanted to bash his head against the door but of course, I was too good of a woman to do that and plus, I couldn't probably reach the top of his head to begin with. "I'm leaving, so yeah, I hope you guys enjoy your time," Luke said sadly, reaching for the doorknob. I wanted to say fuck you you fucking piece of shit that's right go ahead open that fucking crimson oak door and shove your ass out of my territory you are not welcome here u little shit i will cut u if u return and kick your balls back inside your body but of course, I was too kind and couldn't let him leave there—especially if his intentions were not to ruin our date (sort-of) but just to treat Ashton for the day. I wanted to tell him to get off my lawn you snot-nosed punk like those old people in movies but I didn't want to ruin his and Ash's day. I didn't have the heart to. So what I did was expected of me, as usual. I sighed and shook my head, "No Luke, you can stay," I gave him a small nod when he looked back at me in surprise. I wanted to fake a smile but I couldn't fake something as sincere as the smile he was giving me right now.

"Are you serious?" Ashton asked with wide eyes.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" I snapped at him and immediately regretting it when I saw him flinch away from me, "I'm sorry, uh, let's just go," I exhaled heavily as I exited my house with Ashton and Luke following hesitantly behind me. Luke offered to drive us to wherever we wanted to go which I was grateful for since these fucking cheap, cream-colored heels were killing the soles of my feet. But of course, all of this preparation of looking good for Ashton must be put to good use so I tried my best to ignore the pain. I was in the backseat while Ashton rode shotgun, much to my disappointment. Of what I expected to be a fun-night of me and Ashton hanging out ended up to be another third-wheel date where I, of course, am the third wheel. Luke suggested for us to watch a movie and I agreed since it was my original plan but Ashton had other ideas. He was Ashton and it was always expected for him to have other ideas. Ashton wanted to ride the ferris wheel so bad and after a long string of arguments, Luke and I finally gave in, agreeing on going to the carnival instead.

a/n

short chapter but atleast i updated hey!!! and omg i love the next chapter of this so pls keep reading and keep voting!!

-athena

{unedited}