A Penny for My Thoughts

12

April 10, 2023

So much has happened that I don't even know how to start. First things first,  I'm no longer friends with WCC. Remember Jane and her guy friend, well now they are married. Surprising right? Well, it ended up that they liked each other even though Jane had a boyfriend. Yes, she cheated on her boyfriend. Her guy friend that she's now married to (London) knew that she was taken but still kept going after her even when she told him she was taken. Ironically she would say "I will never cheat" and "I rather break up than cheat". To make it clear I'm not talking shit about her. All I'm saying is the truth that I was so blindly ignoring. One thing lead to another and they ended up agreeing to be FWB. Was she single or taken when they agreed to this you may ask? She was very well taken and her man was living with her. It's funny she was out here doing stuff like that but would get mad at her man for watching porn. If her man was watching porn, there must have been a reason, she didn't give him any sugar. Mans needed something to help him out. 

Anyways, after a while, they started dating while she was still with someone and wouldn't break up with him. Making excuses like "I'm finessing him with fixing my car" or "I'm just using him like you used Karen with your car tuner". That was until London"forced" her to choose between him and the dude. Broke up with the dude and stayed with London. Soon after London made her move in with him. Around this time things started to shake with the friendship. 

Even before all of this happened I was feeling negative about everything and especially about that one special friend, Mari. I not gonna lie and say I've never been jealous of her. Let me say it was when those friends would unintentionally say things like "Why can't you be as fun as Mari" or "Mari's so fun, you should be like her". Those things got to me and I started to feel like shit. Mari knows that I'm a very shy person. The things they would do were out of my comfort zone. I was still learning how to leave that comfort zone. 

Things lead to somehow Jane twisting my words and telling London who was besties with Mari that I was talking shit behind her back. According to Jane, I said Mari doesn't like her because of London. That Mari has bad energy and that's why I don't want to be friends with her. I've never said shit like that. I was closer to Jane than to London and Mari was closer to London than to Jane. I really don't understand where things went wrong. According to Mari, London came up to her saying that I was talking shit about her and Jane confirmed that it was true. I to this day don't know what I did for Jane to backstab me.

The day things went to hell, I was talking to another friend of mine that I wasn't feeling the friend group and that I need a break from them. I was gonna distance myself from all of them to clear my head. The negative thoughts were getting to me and I knew if I kept going I was gonna feel more negative. That day Mari had asked me to talk to her and honestly I didn't want to. Previously she had asked me if something was wrong with me or if she did something to me. At the end of my shift, she ended up confronting me, and let me tell you I hate confrontation. She asked me if it was true that I was talking shit about her. I told her no because even when I was feeling jealous of her never did it cross my mind to backstab her. I told her if I really wanted to talk shit about you I would have already done it. We've known each other for a while and if I had any ill intentions I would have done them way before this. This whole thing happened towards the end of July and the beginning of August of 2022. We talked it through even when I told her that I hated that she confronted me when I wasn't ready. I told her that I felt uncomfortable and that my anxiety was kicking in because it was a stressful situation. I was crying because I felt hurt that she would believe them and think I would do something like that to her. Do you want to know what, Jane had the nerve to text me saying that she messes me and loves me? Bro, I felt hurt. I thought highly of her, I felt betrayed. Once everything was settled with Mari I left for my bestie's house, Violeta, and cried to her. Almost forgot to say that Jane and London had told Mari to not tell me that they were the ones who told her about me. Here I was guessing people's names cause I didn't know who was the backstabbing bitch. I thought of every name but Janes and it ended up being her. After that, I and Mari backed away from them. well mostly me cause I'm not gonna associate myself with them. I'm still friends with Mari. Mari also talked to them after I left. She believes in me and not them.

So I'm not friends with Jane, London, Marcos, Omar, and David. Don't really know what happened to David but oh well. Marcos and Omar personally didn't do anything to me so no hard feelings for them. I do appreciate the help Marcos gave me when getting my car. The reason for the friendship ending would just be because he is best friends with Jane and I know that friendship won't break just like that. They are loyal to each other. Omar, can't really say much we were never that close and he, of course, will follow them. Don't know why when they would all talk shit about him. Maybe because he doesn't know that. Plus there's a history between Jane, London, and Omar.

Fun fact, Violeta never liked Jane or London. Never met them and she'd told me that they are no good and I should be careful. Regret not listening to her and bringing them to my house. 

There's so much more for me to talk about but it's currently 2:35 am and I have work at 1 pm. I'm gonna start heading to bed now. Hopefully, I remember and update yall with the tea.

P.S. We didn't fix anything so I'm not friends with Gus (my gay friend) :( story for another time or maybe on the next update.