The Stunt [h.s]

Chapter Twenty Two

Harry's POV

March 7th, 2021

12:49 AM

chapter song: little freak- harry styles

i was thinkin' about who you are

your delicate point of view, i

was thinkin' about you

***

Laying on my back and looking up to the sky I find myself just wanting my mind to turn off.

I stare up at the moon, my only thoughts being consumed by Elsie because it seems that everything has a way to connect back to her in the long run. I think back to that night on the rooftop when Elsie told me that when she sees the moon she sees her deepest feelings and instincts so now I sit out here to try and find it for myself. I'm not going to go back on what I said about the sun though. The sun gives me that hope to keep going and the clarity I need to keep going.

But as I stare up at the lit-up sky, I do find myself getting what I need from it. It's managing to clear my mind because it's not hard to look at or even too bright to look at, it's just perfect. But then you go to the ethereal nature of the stars, using them to divine various aspects of your life whereas in the daytime you just get the clouds. There are definitely pros and cons to both but I'm definitely going to need some more time to think about which one is better.

But one thing the sky has brought to me is my thoughts for the night and maybe even a song.

You would think that mine and El's bad luck started and ended once we started to get close but it seems to continue the more we try to move forward.

I thought of her every single day while I was back home. Granted I couldn't sleep either which made it worse to try and forget about her. But when I went to Elsie's house last week to give her Halle's gift I had no intention of meeting her daughter. Part of me was selfish and just couldn't wait to see Elsie but I didn't expect it to go like that. I thought it was going to be a great reunion between the two and it definitely was, even with meeting Halle. But that's until she found out who I was and everything went to shit.

I chose to leave that day and now I'm also the guy who is ignoring the most perfect girl. Each time she texts me I feel a piece of my heart break off as each one gets a little more desperate.

I was actually having an okay night before her text tonight. I went out to dinner with a friend I haven't seen in a while and let myself enjoy it but the minute I got that text I needed to get home.

Which now leaves me wallowing in self-pity.

Standing up from the grass of my backyard I head back into the house and go to where I left my notebook close to two hours ago. I left it open to a page of a song that I wrote for Fine Line but never ended up releasing it because it never felt right.

Over this last week though I've felt the need to come back to it as it just feels unfinished and has a different purpose.

My notebook, now in my pocket, becomes an object of desire as I discard my empty glass and grab the bottle of alcohol as a result of needing more than a glass can provide. I make my walk to my music room to try and get somewhere with this song. The song itself still has a long way to go until I'm going to deem it completed and ready to present to someone but I know that it's going to have an impact.

On the way to my music room, I stop by my bedroom up the stairs to place my hair into a clip and grab my glasses off the side table while simultaneously grabbing a pencil knowing that I broke the one sitting on my piano.