The Music Room

Losing Love

Alix drops me off at the house, Doxx takes my place in the car. I groan when Alix smirks and drives away. I slowly meander my way into the house. Dreading each moment with a passion and loathing every step I take. I am about to call it quits and just go to bed when I catch sight of Donovan. He sits on the carpeted floor with his messy blond head held in his hands.
I slowly approach him as though approaching an injured animal. He looks up, his blue eyes glisten from unshed salt water. My soul reaches out to his. I reach for him as he does for me, putting aside our differences and all sources of pain I pull him into my arms. He is merely a boy. He has barely started to live life and he has already given up so much just to protect me.
I run my fingers through his blond hair, rocking back and forth slightly to comfort him. He relaxes within my grasp and I pull him closer. His head rests on my chest, I can easily see his intention of listening to my heartbeat. He clutches me close and breathes in my scent. I wrinkle my nose at this because I know I don't smell good.
"Lex," he breathes "I do love you."
"I know you do" I whisper into his hair, comforting him. Our souls tangle within one another and I can't imagine what life would be without him within it. He is so pure and good. He doesn't deserve me and my dangerous past to bring him down. This boy deserves to live, they all do. Despite their actions they all deserve to live. All except me.
I can't contain the words before they are out of my grasp and in the open air. "Why'd you do it then?"
Donovan sits up and dries his eyes on his sleeve. His expression is full of regret and shattering pain. He takes a deep breath before answering. I can see the words on his lips; he wants to apologize but talking through tears is no easy task. I realize it no longer matters what or why he did it. All that matters is that he did it for me.
I cup his face within my hands and press my chapped lips to his ever so slightly. He tastes of wasted salt and pure pain. I kiss his eyes and try to prove my apology for everything I have ever done. Without using words we understand each other. He has always had a way of speaking without using words. I trail my lips across his cheeks and kiss the corner of his eye. Donovan smiles a watery smile, I try to smile back but my throat has begun to burn. His face blurs. How do I leave this boy now? This boy of fifteen who has sacrificed so much for me, this boy I love with all of my soul. How does one leave the one they love? I may never know.