Universal Inconstants: The 10 Years DLC

PART 2

Ten Years Ago

 "Welcome back to the podcast!!" Clyde exclaimed a little too loudly. "Where we fuck around and get nothing done!"

"Thanks, I feel like shit for being unproductive now," Kyle's voice projected sarcastically from the other end of the Disboard call.

"Kyle, you could be unleaning the Tower of Pisa and still say you're unproductive," Kenny pointed out.

"What? Why would I be unleaning the Leaning Tower of Pisa?" He questioned, and Clyde snorted from the other end.

"Hi Kyle, Hi Kenny," he said, and the other two quickly greeted the audience. "And also Craig. What happened to Craig?"

"Nothing happened to Craig," the aforementioned boy's voice monotonously stated. "Craig is here."

"Craig, did you hit your head? You sound like a caveman," Clyde asked.

"Fuck you, you hit your head," Craig retaliated.

"Damn, that went downhill fast," Kenny stated dramatically.

"Shut the fuck up, why do you even talk? Oranges aren't supposed to talk."

"Neither are blueberries," Kenny shot back.

"Oh man, where's the fucking popcorn?" Clyde poked in.

"Shut up Clyde," Craig warned.

"Okay, back on track," Kyle tried, and Clyde then cleared his throat.

"Okay, yeah, you're right." He took a deep breath in for dramatic effect. "This week's topic," he narrated. "Is vacations. Whatever stories you wish to share, sure, but I'm looking for the most disastrous shit."

"Oh, I have a good one!" Kenny exclaimed.

"You always have a good one," Kyle said.

"Yes yes good but first, how have your weeks been?" Clyde asked.

"It's been alright," Kyle started.

"Just alright?"

"What the fuck else do you want me to say? 'Yeah my week's been adequately bordering me on the edge of insanity but also yeah, I had a good hot dog that one time,'" Kyle replied sarcastically, to which Kenny started wheezing and Clyde began giggling.

"Yes, that is exactly what he wants," Craig answered. "That is always what he wants."

"Well fuck you, you're not getting it!" Kyle exclaimed aggressively, although he was trying not to break down giggling.

"O-okay-" Clyde tried through his fit of laughter. "C-Craig?"

"Fine."

"W-would you like to s-say more?"

"No."

Clyde finally stopped laughing. "Oh."

"Yep."

"Uh, okay, Kenn-" Clyde was cut off.

"I broke my balls this week," Kenny suddenly said. Kyle immediately broke down in laughter. Clyde and Craig were both confused.

"W-what? Um- I- Wh- W-would you like to elaborate on that?" Clyde asked.

"No."

"O-oh."

"Mhm!"

"Hey you can't just steal my bit, McWhoremic," Craig scolded.

"Ugh okay fine yeah I'll tell you what happened I guess," Kenny said defeatedly. Kyle quieted to listen to his story.