Universal Inconstants: The 10 Years DLC

PART 4

INTERMISSION - Six Years Ago

"Okay, so what we have here is a variety of hot sauces from mild sauce to ghost pepper," Clyde explained. "And I better not see you assholes in the comments telling me I'm just recycling other people's content because you asked for this shit and I'm paying for it with my suffering," he clarified aggressively.

"Wow Clyde," Corey spoke from next to Analiza. "Threatening your viewers now?"

"That's a new low Clyde," Kenny pitched in.

Clyde frowned at them. "Not your channel," he shot back. "Anyway, yeah, we're literally just testing our spice tolerance I guess."

Kyle looked over at Clyde as he pulled the seal off of the first bottle. "Do I have to do this?" He asked.

"Why?" Clyde asked.

Stan snickered. "Kyle has no spice tolerance."

"H-hey! I-I do!" The taller tried.

"No, no you do not," Kenny confirmed.

Kyle just huffed. "Fuck you."

"Hey, you can't fuck me if I'm telling the truth," Kenny teased.

"Whatever," Kyle muttered, crossing his arms.

Clyde smiled. "Okay... now that K2's done bickering-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Kyle exclaimed in annoyance.

"...," Dovahkiin joked from beside Corey, who wheezed.

"Ohh, right!" Clyde exclaimed. "Dova's gonna be an official part of our cast from now on! You guys will now see him more often," he announced to the camera while everyone else sat in awkward silence. He looked down as he finished unwrapping the last bottle. "Okay! If you need to reach for water or milk within a minute after tasting the hot sauce, you're out. You can still try the sauces if you want to, but uh- you can't be spice king."

"I'm pretty sure spice is a drug," Kenny said nonchalantly. Everyone looked at him with raised eyebrows and confusion in their eyes.

"I- uh- Well let's get started then!" Clyde exclaimed. The group had a variety of seven different sauces to try through the video. They managed to all make it through the first two sauces fairly easily. However, upon tasting the third sauce, Kyle's face morphed slightly as he tried to hide the burning in his mouth. He ended up downing the cup of water set in front of him almost ten seconds later, while the others snorted at him. He flipped them all off as he drank.

Clyde, Corey, Butters, and Wyatt all gave up on the fourth bottle, coughing as the sauce found its way into their throats. Stan, Tolkien, and Analiza were all out next, although not nearly as dramatically as Clyde had gotten out, sputtering and coughing. Kenny and Dovahkiin were the final two in the game. They both passed the sixth sauce without much struggle, or at least, no visible struggle.

"Last one," Clyde said as he picked up the final bottle and handed it to them. The two stared into the souls of the other as Kenny took the bottle, his nose very slightly running. As they both took a taste of the sauce, they continued to stare determinedly at each other... but only thirty seconds passed before Kenny started coughing, quickly picking up his water and sipping it. Dovahkiin grinned in victory.

Suddenly Clyde held up Dovahkiin's hand. "And we have a winner!" He exclaimed dramatically. "Congratulations! You get: nothing!" Clyde dropped Dovahkiin's hand and cleared his throat. Afterward, he ended the video while the others sat silently in the background, a few of them still downing water in order to clear the taste and the spice from their mouths.