𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐇𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬

forty-seven.

I had just began to drift back to sleep after wrangling Tigger into the bedroom when my phone began to buzz on the nightstand beside me.

Anaca left about thirty minutes ago to pick up some supplies while I wanted to get another hour or so of sleep, seeing as he kept me up most the night exchanging multiple orgasms.

I don't recognize the number and nearly let it go to voicemail before reluctantly answering.

"Hello?"

"Is this Woodeine Reynolds?"

"Yes?"

"Ms. Reynolds, my name is Cassidy Bryan and I am social worker for the state of Michigan. I am calling regarding the case of Raine Butte –"

"What?" I nearly shoot out of bed. "What about Raine? Why would social services be calling about her?"

"Ms. Reynolds... has no one informed you?"

"Informed me of what?"

A heavy sigh comes from the other end. "About a month ago, Mrs. Willow and Mr. Jonas Butte were killed in an auto accident. Since then, we have been attempting to contact Raine's legal guardian."

I can't process what she just said.

The words aren't words.

They aren't even sounds.

It's images.

Images of my sister.

Of her as a child.

As a teenager.

As she sat on the end of my bed.

Of her sleeping on the couch with my birthday cupcake.

Her holding her daughter with pride and love.

Willow... dead?

"... I can imagine this is extremely difficult but I must think about the welfare of the child..."

"Where is she?" I swallow, attempting to form sentences. "Where is Raine?"

"She has been placed with her maternal grandfather for the time being. We have been working on locating you, Ms. Reynolds but without much help from Mr. Reynolds it has been hard as the number in the will was missing a digit. An unfortunate oversight."

Ian has Raine?

Has had her this entire time and never told me?

Never told me my fucking sister died?

"But you were listed as the guardian for Raine in the event that something were to happen to Mr. and Mrs. Butte."

"Me?"

"Yes, Mrs. Reynolds. As long as you show the state that you are fit to care for Raine, the state tends to grant the parent's wishes. However, I must warn you there is another matter I must discuss with you..."

Not a single nerve in my body is dormient by the time I hang up the phone.

I have enough fury and grief to commit an unspeakable crime.

Willow...

My eyes burn with tears as I bury my face in my sheets.

Her and I.

That's what was left.

Me and her.

Why hadn't I called?

Why hadn't I...

I growl back a breath as I think of what's important now–Raine.

Ian does not get to start over with his new wife and replacement daughter. He doesn't get to fuck her up like he did us.

If Willow wanted me to take Raine and that's the last thing I can do to show my sister any amount of love, that's what I need to do.

I can't cry, I can't stall, I can't process.

I have to get to Raine.

I've booked airfare and quit my job by the time Anaca walks into the bedroom to find my suitcase on the bed, halfway full.

"What are you doing?"

I can barely notice to the shook in his tone as I throw another armful of clothes onto the bed.

"Have you been crying?" Anaca steps toward me but I put my hand out to stop him.

"I..." I inhale. "I have to go back to Detroit. Today."

"What? What do you mean you have to go back? Today?"

I push my hair from my face. "Social services called me this morning. They need me to take custody of my niece."

Confusion doesn't leave Anaca, rather it settles in even deeper.

"I guess Ian forgot to mention that my sister and her husband were killed in an accident basically right after he left here," I bite back sobs. "And he's petitioning the state for custody of Raine, stating that I am unfit. I need to go back there and make sure that doesn't happen."

"Woody," sorrow fills his voice as he attempts to comfort me once more by touching me, but I jump away from him.

"Please don't," I ask. "We both knew this was ending tonight anyway, let's not make it any harder."

"Woody," Anaca strains. "You just lost your sister. Let me –"

I shake my head. "I need to do this on my own. I need to focus on Raine and I can't afford any distractions. I think it's best we forgot about the last couple days. Auden never has to know. It will be as if it never happened."

"I know," he frowns. "I love you. Let me help you."

"I can't... I can't do this with you right now. I need to go."

"Woody," he calls as I go into the bathroom, shoving my things into the toiletry bag. "I'm not going to let you just leave like this."

"You can't stop me."

"I don't want to stop you," he blocks my path back to the bedroom. "I'm not asking you to stay but I want to be here for you."

I shut my eyes because I can't look at him as I say this. "I don't want you to be there for me."

"You don't mean that."

"You said it yourself, I just lost my sister and now I need to go fight my dad for custody of her daughter. I can't think about you. You and Auden and me. I can't do it, Anaca!"

"You're about to become a mom," he ignores me. "You need help with that."

"I don't need anything," I push on his chest but he doesn't budge. "But you to get out of my way."

"I love you."

I sneer at him. "Don't use that like it means something now."

"I love you," he says again.

"Stop it," I snap. "Move, Anaca."

He stays motionless.

"I. Don't. Need. You."

"I love you, Angel."

"Move," I nearly choke.

He hesitates, those pale, pale eyes of his burning into my skin as I refuse to look at him. The moment there's enough space for me to slip through, I do. Chaotically, shoving my life back into this suitcase as quickly as I can.

"I love you," he whispers one final time before leaving me.

I spent so long desiring, needing, to hear him say those words but somehow, in this moment they mean nothing.

Too little too late.

I love you isn't enough to make people stay.

It's not enough to make someone came back.

It can't raise the dead.

I love you can't comfort Raine.

And it can't comfort me.