Taylor and Travis Oneshots

I Didn't Pray? Part 2

part 2 to i didn't pray, originally from tumblr (if anyone knows the og blog let me know so i can credit) warning it's a sad one. there aren't any more parts, but if people want it i could write a third part because i have a few ideas! 

cw: child loss

It had been a long day for Travis, it was his first day back at practice after being off for almost two weeks and coming home to find his wife crying in their bed didn't help. It had been a hard couple of weeks for them both, but her especially. If he was hurting this much, he couldn't even imagine what she must've been feeling.

"Hey, Tay," Travis said as he walked near the bed and knelt down to her eye level. Her eyes were red and her under eyes were visibly much bigger than usual. She looked exhausted.

"Did you have anything to eat at all?" he asked as he softly combed her hair with his hand.

Andrea left yesterday, when Taylor told her that she was going to be fine. She didn't believe her daughter, but Taylor had insisted they had to be alone in order to get over... everything. Travis didn't agree with it, but also didn't fight with her, because he knew how stubborn his wife could be when she wanted something.

"I've had a few crackers and some water," she whispered weakly. Travis smiled. At least Taylor was eating something now, that was more than what she had for the entirety of last week.

"That's great, baby, I'm so proud of you, you're holding up so well," he said and placed a kiss on her forehead. "But you know what the doctor said, you need to eat more, your body needs actual food to heal, how about I cook you some dinner, hm? Or I can get you a burger and fries from Shake Shack? Maybe something from the new Argentine steakhouse down the road? Or different food from another restaurant? Whatever you want to eat," he said.

Taylor wrinkled her face, "I don't want to eat anything," she said, the idea of eating, moving, doing anything at all, made her absolutely disgusted. She hugged the pillow she was holding tighter when she felt another jolt of pain hit her. Travis held her tightly until the pain passed and she relaxed again.

"I know, babe, I know but you have to eat, this is not where our lives end. I know it feels this way right now and I know that you're struggling. But you need to find your strength again." He whispered with a soft voice.

She shook her head.

"No," she said as tears started slipping from her eyes yet again, "You don't get it, you could never get it. You didn't have the same connection with baby that I did. It feels... the world feels so empty. I feel so empty," she said and a sob escaped her mouth.

Travis felt something in him break when he heard those words. It was true, he could never get it, but just because he was smiling, just because he looked strong in front of her, didn't mean he wasn't hurting. He sighed, he was trying to be understanding with her, he knew that she was struggling, a lot. But so was he. He hurt too, and even though their pain was different, he sometimes felt so mad when she assumed that he was ok. But he didn't say anything, only got up and walked towards the door.

"I'm just gonna go shower real quick, okay? Do you want me to pour you a bath when I'm done?" he asked and she nodded. He gave her another small smile before walking into the bathroom.

He opened the water and after taking his clothes off, threw himself into the shower. This house once they both loved now felt haunted, this house that was always filled with music no matter what time it was, was now so quiet, you could hear a hairpin drop. And the worst part was that he could feel her falling away from him.

He knew that this stuff went in either one of two directions: It pulled you closer and made your relationship better than its ever been or pushed you further until the relationship shattered into a million pieces in front of your eyes, while you could do nothing about it. Travis could see where their relationship would go if they didn't do something before it was too late.

He washed his body as the water burned through his skin, hurting him but not enough to make him forget. He wanted to forget it all, but no matter what, the memory of that night never left his mind. He couldn't forget the look on her face when he woke up and found her in the bathroom. As they went to the hospital in the morning, he held her hand through the entire drive, told her that they were both gonna be alright, that he was gonna love them both forever no matter what. 

When they finally arrived at the ER, it was too late. Nothing could've been done to prevent it, the doctors said, that it was not her fault. But it mentally broke them both into a million pieces. Shattered their lives in a whole different level. He got and sighed as he turned off the water and the cold air hit his skin. After drying himself and putting on some clothes he went along with his promise and prepared Taylor a bath with all her favorite scents and soaps. Then went back into the bedroom to get her.

"Come on, Tay, let's get up," he said as he offered her his hand. She took it and sat up, wrinkling her face and hissing as a sharp pain hit her in the stomach.

"Does it still hurt?" he asked and Taylor nodded, "Maybe we should call your mom, baby, she can help you more than I ever could-"

"No, no, no. Don't. I don't want her to worry," she said and slowly got up, holding his hand even tighter, but he eventually just ended up lifting her up and carrying her instead. He helped her to the bathroom, sat her down as he peeled off her clothes, and softly placed her into the bathtub, the warm water hitting her skin and relaxing all her muscles.

"Thanks," she said and gave him a small smile, that smile he hadn't seen in one and a half weeks. He felt himself laugh and hugged her, not caring if all his clothes got wet. And that's when he realized he was crying, tears spilled from his eyes like rain waiting to fall for years and sobbing harder then he did his entire life

"Trav, please don't cry," Taylor said, putting her head on the back of the bathtub.

"For a while, I thought I'd never see that beautiful smile. Don't you ever leave me like that again," he said, tears spilling even faster now, "I've been holding this in for so long, I can't bear the idea of losing you the way I did in this in the past week, I love you, and I will forever love our baby even though I didn't get to spend a lot of time with them,"

"I'm sorry," Taylor said, tears now coming down from her own eyes, "I'm so sorry I shouldn't have said that when you...I was being so selfish... I didn't even think about what you were going through-"

"It's okay," Travis said, kissing his wife on the top of her head. "I get it, I never got to have that connection with them, which breaks my heart so much, and it's a struggle to get out of bed every day. But I'd do it forever for you. I know things can never go back to what it was, whatever that was supposed to be, but we have to find ourselves a new normal, I don't wanna lose you again. The past two weeks reminded me how and why I could never live without you." he said and kissed her again.

"You wanna come in?" Taylor asked, voice lazy and tired. 

She hadn't slept properly since the time they spent in the hospital. The doctors gave her these drugs for the pain but they didn't particularly help, even though it was the strongest they could give her. She was in so much pain both physically and mentally, she couldn't even sleep. Travis had been there, every second through the way. He sat with her when she couldn't sleep, rubbed her back, and prepared her anything she might need. He called her doctor a million times, but she said it was normal and that it could last up to a month. Seeing his wife in pain like that was one of the worst things Travis had to go through in his entire life. Seeing the person whom he loved the most suffer mentally and physically this much. Compared to the last few days, she looked somewhat better, she was in less pain, that was for sure, she even slept for a few hours last night.

"Yeah, of course," Travis said and slowly took off his clothes, neatly folding them and placing them next to hers, not even caring that he was in the shower only a few minutes ago. Taylor moved forward and he sat down behind her and pulled her closer to himself.

He didn't know what else the future was gonna bring them, but he knew that they'd face it all together.