Taylor and Travis Oneshots

Mixed Emotions

credit: tumblr from a tayvin blog (i changed the names). if anyone knows the actual blog name let me know so i can give full credit! (warning it's a little bit steamy!!!)

Pregnant.

The word just kept running through my head over and over again, like I had never had another thought before in my life.

A baby, inside of me, right now. I was pregnant.

I was having Travis's baby. We were having a baby.

I was alone in the bathroom of a lavish hotel room that would never feel like home, when I found out that my life was going to change forever. Leant over with my hands placed either side of the sink, shoulders slumped and my head hanging low. I squeezed my eyes shut, so hard that I started seeing stars, thinking that this was all a dream, and when I opened my eyes this would all go away, right? Wrong. My eyes opened and the little plastic stick was still there with the two tiny parallel pink lines staring back at me. An almost inaudible sigh escaped from my lips that would have been masked if a pin dropped. I looked up slightly and caught my reflection in the mirror, I laughed slightly at what I saw. Was wearing stained tracksuit trousers with Travis's red sweatshirt that was around three times too big, which traveled with me when I was on tour. His scent brought me comfort in the most troubling of times.

After a period of time that could have been a mere few tantalizing seconds or hours, I wasn't too sure, of looking at my reflection in the mirror I broke down. Anxiety bubbled up from inside of me, making me question everything. Can I bring a child into the life I live? What if Travis didn't want this? Would he run? Would he still love me?

I could feel my heart rate rising to a thousand beats a second and I started to lose my breath. I turned myself around, leaning all my weight against the bathroom sink. My legs started to lose strength, all while my breathing was getting shallower and shallower. I slowly sunk myself to the floor and brought my trouser clad legs up to my chest. My long slender arms wrapped around my legs while my head rested on my knees. I knew what was happening. I knew the signs all too well. I was having a panic attack. My breathing was getting quicker and quicker by the moment and I was gasping for breath, doing anything to try and breathe normally again.

It was like I wasn't thinking. I fumbled to grab my phone from my trouser pocket, struggling to do so as my hands uncontrollably shook with fear. I dialed the number, the number that I had memorized over two years ago. It was like a routine that had been engraved in my memory, one that I would never forget. I placed the phone to my ear, the ringing echoing in my head and eventually going through to voicemail.

"Dammit, Travis!" I shouted to myself and no one else. Just when I needed it most he wasn't answering my calls.

I hit redial and tried calling again. As the phone rang I lent my head back and rested it on the wooden bathroom cabinet door, anything to try and bring me back to reality and calm me down. On the fifth ring, Travis answered.

"Tay, baby, what's wrong? Why are you ringing me in the middle of the night?" He questioned me with worry in his voice. At any other time of the day, I would have thought that he sounded sexy as hell, but right now I couldn't even put two thoughts together.

With my voice still trembling from my labored breathing I replied "Shit, shit, shit. Travis, I am so sorry. I completely forgot the time difference. It's fine. I'm fine. I'll call you later."

I could sense that he could hear the anxiety in my voice when I spoke. "It's fine Tay. Tell me, tell me what's wrong, baby."

Once I heard that word, it was like rain water stored up for three years had been released and then the flood gates opened. Baby, the word broke me. I couldn't handle it anymore. Tears streamed down my red puffy cheeks, and my breathing was even more labored than before, if that was even possible. "T-T-Travis" I was able to stutter out in between breaths. That's all I could say.