Beautiful Disaster

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[Peat]

Every love story starts with the characters looking into the eyes of each other and in a snap, they just decided that they love the other person and for some psychedelic reasons and ton shit of well-executed coincidences, they get together and stay in love with each other forever. it's weird if you think about it, Falling in love with someone who is a complete stranger. Pfft. funny right?

Then there's me, well only in the part where I fell in love with someone who is a complete stranger to me and even if we were engaged for the better half of our lives, the Fort that I knew was the 7-year-old one and never him as a grown-up. I loved him for so long that even I forgot why, where, and what made me love him in the first place. A very unoriginal love story, isn't it? Let's not even get started on the fact that I'm very much engaged to him, life is full of cliches but my life is full of unfunny cliches.

Fort and I have been around each other basically since we were in diapers, our family has been friends for generations and for some sick and twisted reason, they just decided that it was high time to be bonded by marriage, a more secure type of connection and of course beneficial for both of the family, in our time. The way that they decided how and who will be the 'destined' partners was all based on Fort as he was the eldest and only son of the Sengngai, looking back at it, it was a very innocent decision. Fort chose me because we were each other's buddies at that time. we played well together and explicitly understood each other and Fort might have felt the need to watch over me, even though we were of the same age. Back then, my mom would lovingly call me his small and cute son even the young Fort, he saw me the same and even once told his Pa that young Peat was cute but a fragile boy. Adult Peat would like to disagree. Yes, he was a little sickly but he was not small nor cute at all. okay?!

Back to the 'how the Sengngai-Chaijinda agreement' talk, Peat could still vividly recall how things went down and how it changed not only the dynamics of the two families but also my relationship with Fort. for some weird reason, the elders thought it would be wise to let a 7-year-old make a decision for something that involves their business and personal gains, logically it should be the elders who set up things for us, the kids, but this specific concern somehow the elders decided to be the goodie two shoes for the children and probably thought to themselves that it would make them less of a control freaks if they let their child pick their future partner. A 7-year-old could barely understand the meaning of merging families, let alone picking a future spouse/partner when they get older. When a young Fort picked the Young Peat over the twin sister as his future partner, the elders could not mask the shock on their faces but they somehow just accepted it. No other words were uttered to make Fort change his decision. So he and I were bounded by the decision of the 7-year-old Fort.

Do I mind this whole Setup? No

Do I mind that I somehow never had a say in this? To be honest, I didn't mind at first and I just learned to accept that this was now my life.

But does it make sense? Now that I'm an adult, it was ridiculous in a way that I will never be able to comprehend no matter how hard I think about it.

The moment that I have become the unofficial in-laws of the Sengngai's, I was groomed to be the perfect partner. For as long as I can remember my family had trained and made sure I would be perfect physically and attitude-wise. I never minded it at first since for the naive Peat, it was one of the ways to make his parents happy, and young Peat liked the feeling of being loved and cherished by the young Fort. how naive. My thinking and how I viewed this messed-up relationship totally changed when our families decided to send me somewhere far from Thailand, specifically, to the United Kingdom. There I meet my best friend, Noeul Lee. we were both middle schoolers back then and long story short, he made me realize that the kind of life that I'm currently living and hoping for was a prison in disguise. It was a prison that I willingly walked in.

When I realized that I've been slowly but surely being strangled by invisible strings A.K.A the engagement of the two families. I started acting up, I went against their wishes. I became the opposite of what they have set up for me. My family minded it so much but Fort, he never said anything about it, There I realized that he doesn't care about me, he only cared that things are agreeable for him and he doesn't have to go on hundreds of blind dates to find someone, it was literally given to him in a golden platter but even if that was the case, I was not only bound to him by a stupid agreement but also with love, albeit, it's only one-sided. I should have known to keep my feelings at bay, should have known that our relationship was something out of the ordinary and it comes with prices that I will never be able to comprehend.

I'm not proud of how I acted while I was out in a different country but in a way, I knew who I was, in a way I found myself even though the moment I step back to Thailand, I know I will be forced to hide my real self and be the faultless Peat Chaijinda again To be the perfect son-in-law for the Sengngai's.

[a/n: heyyooo, so this the introductory chapter? anywho I changed the title but I'm still not quite feeling it so the title might still change so please don't hate me that much lololol. oh and also, I'll be putting pov markers in the story, I hope you all don't mind it? let me know what you think, yeah? see you all on the next update]