Beautiful Disaster

So, This is what falling in love feels like.

[Peat]

He has imposter syndrome or He thinks he has.

It's been a good month since the accident happened and a few weeks since he and Fort had settled into their new apartment (well it could be a shared apartment at this point). The thing is, He absolutely adores Fort, he does but the sudden 180° of their relationship felt super unrealistic for him and it felt like he was in some dream and he was just waiting for him to wake up. A painful way to realize things aren't real for him.

Peat loves whatever was happening between them. The casual kisses, cuddling, and just being domestic. Just like now, They were in the comfort of their pyjamas, A movie playing on their TV. They weren't cuddling but Fort had his arms around Peat's waist while he was leaning to Fort. Domestic huh?

Now, this feels entirely unreal, not wrong but Peat's mind is having a hard time processing everything. He feels like in some sort of alternative universe. maybe he was.

if this isn't some alternative universe, is this really real?

How much of these are real?

maybe I was actually in a coma, and never recovered from the attack? but Fort feels sturdy, warm and very real.

His mind is full of doubts and just working 3x harder times than it should. Peat was so focused in his thoughts that he failed to notice his own breathing, he was gasping for air and overall he felt like he was underwater, fighting to take a breath of air.

"Peat?!" Sky could hear Fort's worried voice but his eyes couldn't focus on him and everything was just blurry. He may be crying or not Peat's not really sure at this point.

"Peat? Baby '' It was Fort's voice again but this time it was a lot clearer, his mind's a lot clearer but loud questions are still there. Peat inhales again to try and have his full focus on Fort.

Peat felt his strength go back, ever so slow but it was going back alright. When he felt sturdy enough he pushed himself up out of Fort's warmth. The moment he did that he felt cold and exposed, his own arms automatically wrapped themselves around his body. it was not enough, he wants Fort back but everything feels wrong.

"What are we?" Peat asks. uncertain if he worded that right and it wasn't helping that Fort only stared at him, processing whatever the fuck happened and whatever Peat said.

Peat thumps one of his feet, demanding answers from Fort. He probably looked like a child throwing tantrums but that's the best thing that he could do.

"We're engaged." The way Fort answered him, was so simple and direct but that doesn't calm the raging storm in his mind. no. I know we are engaged but no. That's a status that the public knows but what about between the two of us?

Peat looked again at Fort and now he was frowning. Maybe he's mad because I won't talk to him?

"No. we aren't-" Fort's eyes darken at Peat's word. Peat on the other hand stumbles on the next words that he wants to say.

"I mean I know we are engaged but that's an agreement between our families not ours-" Peat starts again to catch his own breath, as realization starts to sink in. I love him but does he feel the same way?