Gideon: Hello, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to episode seven of Da Lightwood Radio Show. I'm Gideon Lightwood.
Cecily: I'm Cecily Lightwood, Gideon's sister-in-law.
Gabriel: I'm Gabriel Lightwood, Gideon's brother.
Sophie: I'm Sophie Lightwood, Gabriel's sister-in-law.
Cecily: Do we have a guest today, Gideon?
Gideon: Erm, I'm not sure, do we?
Gabriel: How do you not know? It's your turn to be the main host!
Sophie: It's not his fault. No one told him.
Cecily: Well, I'll go see if Will wants to come back.
*Awkward silence*
*Footsteps noisily approaching*
Cecily: I'm back!
Will: I knew that I did a good job last time. Otherwise you wouldn't have asked me to come again. Everyone, I'm William Herondale, Cecily's brother and head of the London Institute. You need not know what the said institute is for. Cecy, what's today's theme?
Cecily: I don't know! It's not my turn to be the main host.
Gideon: Today's theme is what to do when attacked by a savage bear.
Gabriel: That's a dumb theme.
Gideon: Well it's important to know, is it not?
Gabriel: I suppose. . .
Cecily: Great! Then we shall begin.
Will: If attacked by a savage bear one must throw a knife at it. Or perhaps slash its head off with a seraph blade. It really depends on what weapon one specializes in. I do not recommend running away however, as bears just so happen to be quite quick.
Sophie: Err, okay?
Gabriel: Horrible.
Will: Why? I stated what one must do in the situation of a bear attack! That's today's theme, is it not?
Cecily: It is. My husband is just being mean unnecessarily.
Will: He certainly is!
Gabriel: Don't talk about me as if I'm not here! Incredibly rude, it is.
Gideon: It is rude, actually. But Gabriel, Will's statement was actually quite accurate.
Sophie: If you don't happen to have or specialize in any weapons, back away very slowly, keeping your eye on it.
Gideon: Yes, that is sometimes necessary.
Will: Quite cowardly, though.
Cecily: It's not cowardly to retreat if you don't have a weapon on you. It's actually smarter and gives you a better chance of survival than if you attempt to fight it without a weapons assistance.
Gabriel: Quite right, dear.
Sophie: Who's singing today?
Gideon: Me! I haven't sang since episode one. Now at episode seven, I shall sing again. It may just be about bears rather than what to do if attacked by one, but whatever. I'll see what I can do.
Bears
Bears
Bears
Stinky and sleepy
They enrage when they hear something go beepy
Visualize the bears
For that seems fair
They'll try to overcome you
But will fail if you know what to do
You must grab a stick
Crack a tick
Slash a sword
Say a word
Do not daily dally
Don't get distracted by the beauty of the valley
If you fail
We all will wail
For you'll be dead
But what if you don't have a weapon?
Than backwards you must be steppin'
Be slow
And you won't be woe
Be quiet
It's a useful habit
It's likely this won't ever happen
But if it does you must know what to do
You must grab a stick
Crack a tick
Slash a sword
Say a word
Do not daily dally
Don't get distracted by the beauty of the valley
If you fail
We all will wail
For you'll be dead
This covers what to do but what not to do it lacks
Do not run
Don't make it fun
Instead of optimistic
Be realistic
Don't show mercy of pity
For a bear is not a kitty
Don't do these things
Instead dod what you must do
You must grab a stick
Crack a tick
Slash a sword
Say a word
Do not daily dally
Don't get distracted by the beauty
If you fail
We all will wail
For you'll be dead
Cecily: That was actually really fun!
Gabriel: I liked it, I guess.
Sophie: Wonderful!
Will: Erm, okay?
Gideon: Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to say our goodbyes. We sincerely hope that you liked episode seven of Da Lightwood Radio Show. Adiós.
Gabriel: Farewell.
Cecily: Bye!
Sophie: Have a wonderful day.
Will: Farewell, whoever happens to be listening to this load of nonsense.
Cecily: Will! That's mean! We work hard on this show!
Will: I-
Gideon: Okay, I think we better put an end to this now. Adiós, again.
YOU ARE READING
Da Lightwood Radio Show
FanficOkay, so I had to make a radio show for school, so I decided to make a Lightwood one. So, Cecily had an idea to make a radio show, and Gabriel, Gideon, and Sophie agreed and this is the result. Each episode has at least one song, and a different the...
