Lost In The Heart Of Neverland

Chapter Two

As the door slammed shut I felt relief, the terror of the moments before slowly fading. Ackston stood up, still clutching his abdomen, the pain evident on his face.
"Are you okay? " I knew it was a dumb question, but it was all I could think of in the moment.
"Yeah. I'm fine" he replied.
"Yeah, sure. Because you're always fine, right?" I knew I was crossing a line, but I couldn't handle the pretending anymore.
Ackston just rolled his eyes at me.
"You know," I began. "If you would tell on him he might stop."
"I'm not gonna be a tattletale, Aya."
"It's not being a tattletale! It's wrong for him to be doing this to us! If you would just tell then Mom would believe it. She thinks I'm overreacting, but if you tell her, she'll have to believe you!" I was so scared. I hadn't meant to yell, but I was just so, so scared. But his response was anything but comforting.
"No" he said, turning towards me. "If I tell, it will mean I'm weak." He grimaced and looked past me. "And I'm not weak."
I was so sick of this. It was such dumb, pointless power struggle. I understood it - it wasn't that I didn't understand. I knew what it was like to feel the desperate need to be on top. The confidence of knowing that you were in control; the need to believe that no matter what, even if no one else could be there for you, you could be there for yourself. But as Ackston walked over and put a movie in, watching him sit on the couch, I knew that if he didn't tell, Terrance would eventually do something awful that he had never expected to do. All because he wanted so badly to be in control, and because he was so power hungry, he couldn't control himself. And the horror of it was that he would not be his own undoing, but the undoing of his siblings. He was breaking us inside and out, and the truth was, we couldn't protect ourselves.
I turned and began walking out of the room, but I stopped just before the hallway. Turning and looking at Ackston, I spat the poison that had been building up in my heart for so long.
"The truth is, you don't care about anyone but yourself."
His head shot fast to the side, and he glared at me. "That's not true."
"Yes it is!" I couldn't hold the screams back anymore. "You only care about yourself, and being better than Terrance!"
"That's not-"
"Just shut up!" I screamed. "Just shut up and let me talk for once!"
"I let you talk plenty!"
"Says the person who literally just interrupted me" I shout back.
"Okay, you need to calm dow. You clearly needed to be interrupted" he continued.
"Well maybe you're just a coward!"
He was physically taken aback, and I felt sick with myself, because I liked it. I liked the fact that I was on top. The sick, twisted power struggle didn't just affect me. It was contagious.
"I'm not a coward" he began, standing up, but I cut him off.
"You're not a coward"I asked, sarcasm trenching my voice. "Well let me tell you something Ackston. Only a coward won't admit his weaknesses, and only a coward would let his little sister be - messed with and not do anything about it." I could taste the poison in my words, and I loved it. For once I was actually getting to someone. For once I could use my voice and have an effect. For once I didn't feel trapped in silence. For once my voice wasn't shut out. I hated knowing that I was taking control, but it felt so freeing too.
I looked straight into his eyes and screamed the last words, all the pain of the last six months finally showing.
"If you really cared you would protect me! But instead, you're so afraid of him that you act like his best friend when he's not beating you! You leave me alone and you leave me alone with him and I have to lock myself in my room to keep him away from me! So, yes - yes Ackston! You. Are. A coward. And I hate you for it."
I turned and went to my room, slamming the door and locking it. Then I fell apart. Leaning against the door I let the tears fall. Hundreds of droplets of water that I would never get back, but it gave me comfort to know that God was collecting them all in a bottle. For all the tears I had ever cried, there was no telling just how big that bottle was.
I began to slide down the door to the floor, but stopped short when I heard footsteps. I heard someone outside my door and I knew who it was before he spoke. Terrance.
"Aalya! Open the door" he said.
"No" I replied simply. If he thought I was just going to forget everything and trust him again like Ackston, well, he was dead wrong. I was 14, but that didn't mean I was stupid.
"What do you want"I asked, not bothering to mask the annoyance in my voice.
"Let me in. I'm not telling you until you let me in." Pfft. Like that was going to work.
"Then I guess I don't have to hear it" I retorted. "If it's that important you can tell me from out there."
I could feel the anger reverberating from him through the door, but I really just didn't care.
"Aya, if you don't let me in I'm going to break down the door!"
"Feel free" I responded, a little too casually. "Even if you're strong enough to break it down, I don't think you really want to. You may be stronger than me, but I still know how to hurt you. Plus, I don't think you want to have to explain to Mom why the door is broken." I smirked. Not a happy smirk. It was really just a desperate grasp at confidence.
"I don't care what mom says" he yelled.
"Sure you don't. That's why you always beg us not to tell on you." I knew I was pushing it, but I really just didn't care.
I jumped as the door jolted with an accompanying 'bang!' Terrance hit the door again, but I could tell that he wasn't trying very hard. He was just trying to intimidate me. It was just another desperate grasp at control. My heart was racing, but I laughed and moved back over to the door.
"Just stop throwing a fit and go away."
I listened and was surprised to hear him walk away. Sitting down by the door I sighed in relief, trying to calm my racing heart. I had finally gotten it back down to a relatively normal rate when Terrence delivered one last hard hit to the door. I was sure he had kicked it that time. I wanted to say something to put him out but I knew it would only ignite another flame, and I was too exhausted for that. So I just sat in the silence, watching through my window as the sun went down.

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Well, guys, that's the end of another chapter. I'm having so much fun writing this, and I really hope that it helps some people see the reality of what abuse actually is.
If you're dying to get a taste of Peter Pan, come back for the next chapter.
I don't think you'll be disappointed.
If you guys could vote, that would be great! And if you want to comment anywhere, I would love to read your comments!
I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far, and get ready, cuz this is gonna  be a bumpy ride.

Luv,
Jemma💙