Yoonmin in Malta

9 - The first evening (III)

The sun fades imperceptibly into the sea and soon a deep darkness falls over the boat. The only sources of light in this cloudless night are the glittering lights of the Maltese coastline and the current blood moon – which seems to cast a spell on Jimin and Jungkook. The rest of the band have long since fallen asleep in the large seating area. Even Yoongi sleeps through this romantic evening in the red moonlight.

"Hyung, can I ask you something?" Jimin looks over his shoulder at Jungkook, who has just spoken to him.

"Mhh, sure Kookie. What's up?" The youngest doesn't answer right away but climbs through the railing and sits down next to Jimin on the edge of the boat.

"You've been acting weird for a few weeks, do you want to talk?", Jungkook finally starts a serious conversation.

Jimin's eyes turn away from Jungkook. He looks into the pitch-black sea, hoping that the youngest won't see his glassy eyes.

"I don't want you to worry about me. It's just..." Jimin's voice breaks. He lifts his head and looks at the blood moon, hoping that it will help him swallow his tears and the lump in his throat.

Suddenly, Jungkook throws himself swinging to his side and takes him in his arms. Jimin snorts in surprise.

"Take your time, I'll wait here," Jungkook whispers into his friend's ear.

And they wait. They wait for Jimin to regain his courage and composure to talk about what has affected him so much in the past weeks. Jimin would never tell the youngest the whole story. He hasn't even told Taehyung about it. The only thing Taehyung knows is that Jimin had a fight with Yoongi and they haven't spoken since. But that's not all. The thing that weighs most on Jimin's mind is the new knowledge he gained from this incident.

Jimin is a people pleaser. He has learned about himself that he will do whatever it takes to please the people around him. He just wants to be loved by everyone and is afraid of being rejected. Jimin sighs.

He knows that it's time to open up and find his true self. He takes Jungkook's hand and looks into his eyes. In Jungkook's attentive gaze, Jimin recognizes the affection and understanding that the youngest has for him. Jimin begins to speak slowly, telling him about his fear of rejection and how he constantly tries to please everyone. His voice trembles as he reveals his feelings and thoughts, but Jungkook is there to listen.

"You can always come to me, it's okay Hyung," the youngest assures him.

Jimin takes him at his word and suddenly asks a question that has been bothering him for years.

"Kookie ... how do you feel about me?", Jimin speaks his words slowly, surprised by his own openness. He closes his eyes and buries his face with both hands in shame. No answer. Jimin slowly pushes his hands aside and looks at Jungkook carefully, but he simply can't interpret his facial expression.

"You're my hyung," he finally mutters, piqued by the question. He doesn't meet Jimin's gaze and his tone is short and clipped.

Jimin's heart sinks as he hears Jungkook's short response. He feels a wave of regret wash over him, wondering if he has jeopardized their close relationship. Did he make a mistake by opening up like this?

Meanwhile, Jungkook's mind races. He already had this conversation with Taehyung. Taehyung also asked him how he feels about him and he would tell Jimin the same thing, even though his relationship with Taehyung is much more complicated than he wants to admit.

"You guys raised me since I was a teenager, you're my family! What else can I feel for you but that?" Jungkook's voice trembles slightly, his eyes flickering with emotion. As he speaks, his body tenses up, as if bracing for a negative reaction.

"I'm sorry if I got too close to you or Tae. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression," he said, his tone apologetic.

Suddenly, Jungkook's expression changes, his eyes narrowing as he looks at Jimin with a hint of anger.

"But it was you who kept hugging me. You were the ones who told me so early on how cute I was and how much you loved me." Jungkook says, his voice rising with frustration.

Jimin's hands fidgeting in his lap as he listened to the words pouring out of the youngest mouth. Despite his inner turmoil, Jimin tries his best to remain composed. He would rather not make things worse by getting defensive. So he listens carefully and with patience.

Jungkook's anger quickly dissipated, and once again, a gentle expression settled over his face. This time, there was a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"I'm just used to us being close, cuddling and even sleeping in the same bed sometimes. Please don't blame me for that," Jungkook finishes his monologue, obviously shaken.

Jimin's throat tightens; he didn't want to see his dongsaeng dissolve like this. The only thing he wanted was clarity.

Jimin knows only too well that he's a natural flirt. He interacts with everyone that way. But he realized how his interactions could have been misinterpreted by Jungkook. Jimin has been flirting with Jungkook since he was half a child. He's a little ashamed of it now, as he finally realizes his people pleasing behavior. Tonight, he just had to know if Jungkook could successfully escape his spell. Jimin takes the youngest in his arms and apologizes.

"I'm sorry for being so insensitive. Of course, you're right. I don't blame you, but I just wanted to make sure that I didn't hurt you. I don't expect anything more from you than to be your hyung."

He then waits patiently for Jungkook to calm down. Just like the youngest was at Jimin's side tonight when he couldn't talk about his feelings.

They have another long conversation that dark night about how Jungkook experienced the course of his youth in BTS and the difficulties he had with it that other teenagers probably wouldn't have had.