Yoonmin in Malta

23 - The Walk (II)

On their way to the restaurant, the sound of their footsteps echoes through the empty streets as they remain silent. The uneasy silence hangs between them, making Jimin feel as if the world has been coated in lead. He fidgets with the cuffs of his hoodie, searching for something to say, but his mind is blank.

As they approach the restaurant, Jimin can feel the silence between them becoming unbearable. But just as they reach the door, Yoongi turns to him with a gentle smile, his eyes warm and inviting. His fingers brush over Jimin's back in a gentle caress and rest there for a while. It feels like a much-needed reassuring warmth before they enter. The touch is comforting, grounding, and Jimin feels his shoulders relax as he follows him into the dimly lit restaurant.

Yoongi has chosen a place where the band often gets a private space, with comfortable chairs and soft lighting. The cozy and intimate atmosphere puts Jimin at ease, but the tension remains, crackling in the air. However, as they sit down and share an appetizer, Yoongi suddenly begins to speak, as the awkward silence between them never happened. He talks excitedly about his plans for future productions, his voice resonating with such passion and determination that it's infectious. Jimin is drawn in, feeling the weight of the world slowly lifting from his shoulders as he soaks in the elder's words.

Despite the comfortable intimacy of the conversation, there is still this subtle tension between them, which manifests itself in the way Yoongi's voice drops a bit and his eyes seem to darken. His gaze keeps drifting to Jimin, as if he can't take his eyes off him. With every lingering look from Yoongi, Jimin feels a slight heat rise in his cheeks and his heart flutters in his chest.

There is something magical about this evening. Perhaps it's commonplace for two band members to enjoy a quiet dinner and share their aspirations. And yet, it's something special for Jimin and he wishes that this moment would go on forever.

"Let's go for a walk along the Han River after dinner," Yoongi suggests, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

Jimin's heart jumps as he meets Yoongi's gaze. There's a hint of heat in the elder's eyes that makes his cheeks warm once again. Jimin nods as his hand instinctively reaches up to smooth down his hair.

As they are lost in the moment, the clank of dishes interrupts them and the restaurant staff brings their food. Feeling a little giddy, they quickly finish their meals, anticipating time alone. Finally, they escape to the cool night air, stepping onto the sidewalk and making their way toward the river.

Slowly, the atmosphere becomes unbearably heavy again, as it was on the way to the restaurant. Jimin knows that now is the time to talk. After weeks of hesitation, they finally have to be honest and talk about how they feel about each other.

They descend the stairs to the riverbank, where the lights from the buildings reflect off the water's surface. A gentle breeze brushes against their skin, a welcome relief from the stuffy atmosphere of the restaurant. After a few minutes of walking, they find a quiet corner. At this late hour, there are hardly any people in the park by the river.

Jimin lowers himself onto the wooden bench, his feet dangling awkwardly above the ground. He turns to face the river, watching as the water glimmers with reflected lights from the surrounding buildings. Yoongi takes a seat beside him, their thighs brushing together, as they sit in silence for a while, watching the water.

"Thanks for coming with me," Yoongi says, turning to Jimin with a soft smile.

"Anytime, hyung." Jimin feels his stomach flutter. He clears his throat, eyes flickering with emotion. "There's something I need to tell you."

Yoongi turns to face Jimin fully, giving him his undivided attention. "What is it?" he asks gently, a trace of concern in his voice.

Jimin swallows nervously, his gaze drifting to the rippling water in front of them. He hesitates for a moment before mustering up the courage to speak his mind.

"Why did you change the lyrics of 'Seesaw'?" Jimin asks, his voice shaking slightly with emotion. "When you first played the song for me, it didn't have a title, but... the lyrics have become so dark. Is that really how you feel about us?"

The memories of their heated argument in the dimly lit hotel room in Taipei still weighed heavily on Jimin's mind, when Yoongi suggested 'Seesaw' for their new album, 'Love Yourself: Answer'. Jimins heart felt like it was being shattered into a million pieces, as it was the same song that Yoongi had played for him to convey his true feelings, but the lyrics had been changed to reflect darkness and regret.

"Hyung, the lyrics are so confusing ... I don't know what to say..." Jimin's eyes get misty, and he swallows hard. Noticing the difficulty Jimin is having in speaking, the elder gathers his courage and finally tries to clear up the misunderstanding. He was so surprised by the question that he couldn't answer right away.

"I never intended to release the song the way I played it for you in Taipei," Yoongi explains softly, his voice filled with regret. "I just used it to tell you how I feel." He meets Jimin's gaze with a piercing look, as if he wanted to express his seriousness non-verbally as well.

"Actually, I wanted to give the instrumental track to the other members and have them contribute their own lyrics." Yoongi's gaze falls to the water as he speaks, his expression haunted. "But then... I fell into a depressive episode."

A shudder runs through Jimin as he watches Yoongi's face contort with pain.

"The new lyrics describe my relationship with depression. It's like...it keeps trapping me, no matter how hard I try to escape it. Sometimes, I feel like I need it, like I'm addicted to it or something." Yoongi continues slowly.

The breeze picks up, rustling through the leaves overhead. Yoongi's smile is twisted with anguish as he looks back at Jimin. "I'm sorry, Jimin-ah. I didn't mean to put all of this on you."

"I'm such an idiot," Jimin mutters, his voice barely audible. He's embarrassed that he made the change in the song's lyrics all about himself. The weight of his guilt weighs on him, and he covers his face with both hands, tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

But Yoongi gently takes Jimin's trembling hands in his, his touch warm and comforting.

"Don't blame yourself, Jimin-ah," he says softly. "I should have let you know that I was reusing the instrumental track. Now I realize that it was pretty stupid of me."

For a moment, they sit in quiet contemplation, their hands intertwined and shoulders touching. The night air is cool against their skin as they sit side by side on the bench.

Eventually, the elder puts his arm around Jimin. With a light pressure on the younger's shoulder, he leads him into a gentle, hesitant kiss. Jimin follows without resistance, as this is exactly the closeness to Yoongi that he has missed so much. It's been so long since they've done this, and they're both nervous yet eager. As the kiss deepens, they become more confident and their movements more passionate. Jimin feels safe and secure in Yoongi's arms, his heart quickening with every touch, every caress. It's as if they've never been apart.

Feeling a sudden urgency, Jimin quickly moves onto Yoongi's lap, wrapping his legs around the elder's waist, pulling him closer, their bodies tightly intertwined. The elder also intensifies his embrace and their kisses become more passionate. Occasionally, soft gasps and moans escape their lips, so much do they seem to want to make up for lost time.