Still Breathing

Chapter 22. Dark Paradise

"There's no release, I feel you in my dreams, telling me I'm fine." ~ Lana Del Rey

Lo'ak was running around the forest, hiding behind a tree. He was giggling under his breath as he peered around the corner, hiding his face again once he spotted his seeker.

"Lo'ak, where are you?" Neteyam shouted, searching for his little brother in a game of hide and seek. Slowly, he crept towards the tree where he'd spotted Lo'ak peering around the corner.

"Gotcha!" Neteyam shouted, tackling Lo'ak to the ground who squealed as his brother tickled him. The two brother's were laughing as Lo'ak shoved his brother off of him before he started to count to twenty.

The sun was slowly starting to fade and Lo'ak still couldn't find his brother anywhere. He searched around, calling for him as he peered behind every tree and checked inside every bush. "Neteyam! This isn't funny!"

It was quiet, too quiet and Lo'ak was becoming more and more frightened. His parents would kill him if he came home without his brother.

"Lo'ak." The boy in question jumped at the sound of his brother's voice. When he turned around to look behind him, his face dropped at the sight that awaited him. It was Neteyam, but his eyes were lifeless as he stood tall, unmoving in front of Lo'ak.

Blood was dripping from his chest, a bullet hole slowly forming.

"This is all your fault." Neteyam's mouth moved, but his eyes remained lifeless. Lo'ak just shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "None of this would've happened if you just listened to me." The voice sounded like it was all around him, surrounding him.

When he opened his eyes, Neteyam was right in front of him. His lifeless eyes now filled with anger. "I will never forgive you."

Lo'ak jolted awake, breathing heavily as he looked around at his surroundings. He swallowed harshly as he slowed his breathing, angrily wiping away the stray tear that fell onto his cheek. Looking down at Spider who was sleeping on the mat beside him, Lo'ak felt regret bubbling in his chest.

Neteyam would still be here if they didn't go back for Spider. But Spider was his best friend, he couldn't just leave him.

Letting out a frustrated groan, Lo'ak laid back down as he turned to face his sisters. He didn't understand how they could be sleeping so peacefully after everything that has happened. He didn't understand how his parents could function throughout the day and sleep at night after losing their son.

Lo'ak felt as if it was him against the world. He didn't know how to express his guilt to anyone, not even Payakan. He didn't think anyone could really understand the absolute hatred he had towards himself.

He tossed and turned for what felt like an eternity before finally deciding he was ready for the day. He wandered off towards the small rock where he would hang out with the rest of his family and friends, thinking that no one noticed his absence.

But Jake did.

Jake had been awoken by the sound of his son gasping for air. He stayed alert, listening carefully to his surroundings. After a moment of silence followed by the sounds of someone tossing and turning, he knew that Lo'ak was struggling to sleep.

He stayed awake, making sure that his son was able to get some sleep. But when he stood up and walked out of their pod, he knew that he wasn't okay. Spider had told Jake that Lo'ak thought that he blamed Lo'ak for Neteyam which couldn't be further from the truth.

Jake got up from his spot on the ground, quietly following Lo'ak to that little rock in the middle of the ocean. He rarely ever heard his son cry, so hearing his quiet little sniffles was the most devastating sound a father could hear. Knowing that your child is in pain and there's nothing you can do about it is more hurtful than anyone would ever know.