I sat in an empty training room with my knees tucked in close to my chest.
After we got back from Rumlows laboratory I had to get checked for medical, everyone had a million questions but I ignored them all and asked for some time alone.
I had never felt so drained before. Physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and forget about everything that had happened.
As I sat there lost in my thoughts, I was suddenly interrupted by a knock on the door. I hesitated for a moment, debating whether or not to answer, but eventually, I made my way over and opened it.
"Hey," Wanda said as she stepped inside, "how are you feeling?"
"I don't even know how to begin to answer that," I replied, trying to keep my voice steady.
"I know it's been rough," she said, her expression softening as she looked at me with concern.
"That's an understatement," I muttered, my eyes darting away from her gaze.
"Look, I know you probably don't want to talk about it right now, but we need to figure out what happened back there," she said, her tone gentle but firm.
I sighed heavily, knowing she was right. "I don't even know where to start," I said, feeling overwhelmed by the magnitude of what had happened.
"We can start by telling me how you feel about your powers," she suggested, taking a seat next to me.
"I don't even know what to feel," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "I killed someone"
It's okay to feel overwhelmed," she reassured me. "But you have to understand that with great power comes great responsibility. We need to make sure you know how to control it, how to use it for good, and how to keep yourself and others safe."
"I know," I said, nodding slowly. "I just don't know if I'm ready for this."
"None of us are ever truly ready for something like this," Wanda said, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "But I'll be here to help you every step of the way."
I smiled weakly at her, feeling grateful for her support. "Do you speak from experience?" I asked
As Wanda began to speak, her voice grew quieter and more sombre. She told me about her twin brother Pietro, and how he had died while fighting alongside the Avengers. She talked about the guilt she felt, how she wished she could have done more to save him, and how she had struggled to come to terms with her powers after his death.
"It took me a long time to learn how to control my powers," she said, her eyes flickering with memories. "And even now, there are times when I still feel like I'm barely holding on but what keeps me going is the knowledge that I'm doing everything I can to make things right."
"I don't know if I'll ever be able to make things right," I said, my voice choked with emotion.
"I wish I could get rid of it I admitted" and Wanda frowned at me "Getting rid of it would mean getting rid of you, it isn't a part of you but it is you," she said and I felt tears pool in my eyes
"is that really the worst thing," I said Wanda looked at me for a moment, her expression contemplative. "It's not about whether it's the worst thing or not," she replied. "It's about accepting who you are and what you're capable of you have a gift, and it's up to you to decide how to use it."
"I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of responsibility," I repeated, my voice barely above a whisper.
"You don't have to be ready right now," she said, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "It's a journey, and it takes time but you have to start somewhere, and you have to be willing to try."
I nodded slowly, feeling a glimmer of hope begin to stir inside me. Maybe I couldn't change what had happened, but I could try to use my powers for good and with Wanda's support, maybe I could learn how to control them.
"Thank you," I said, my voice still shaky. "For everything."
Wanda gave me a small smile. "We're a team," she said. "We look out for each other."
As I sat there with Wanda, I began to feel a sense of calm wash over me. I knew I still had a long way to go, but for the first time in a while, I felt like maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be okay.
The training room was quiet, except for the sound of our breathing and the occasional creak of the chair. As I sat there, knees tucked in close to my chest, I felt a sense of peace wash over me. I wasn't alone anymore.
Wanda had stayed with me for a while longer, talking me through what had happened and helping me come to terms with my powers. We talked about control and responsibility, about using our gifts for good and not letting the guilt consume us.
It wasn't easy, but Wanda's words had given me hope. I knew that I had a long journey ahead of me, but I was willing to try. I was willing to accept who I was and what I was capable of, and I was willing to use my powers to make a difference.
As we left the training room, I felt a sense of determination that I hadn't felt in a long time. I was ready to take on whatever came my way, knowing that I had the support of my new team behind me.
I found Lucas and Carter and sat with them for a bit reflecting on our experiences and talking about what was going to come next.
"I never thought I'd be doing something like this," Carter admitted. "I mean, I knew we were training to be 'heroes', but I never thought I'd be fighting alongside the Avengers."
Lucas nodded in agreement. "It's a lot to take in," he said.
The three of us shared equal feelings of fear but found comfort within each other.
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