Touch (Z.S) (Rewriting)

Chapter 47.

Day one, I was already becoming distant. Is this really the best choice? Day two, I slowly started taking my stuff back to my apartment. It was slow enough so Zayn wouldn't really notice it all that much. Day three. Four more days. Not much time is left to do what I have to do.

Day four. Today is the day. This entire week has been terrible. I even started slacking on school work way more. I was driving to Zayn's house. Once I was stopped at a red light, I text Zayn.

to Zayn!: When I get home we need to talk..x

I was already on the verge of tears. Was this a selfish move for me to do? Dump him so those photos don't get leaked? I mean, it's embarassing! I don't want nude photos of me on the internet! I honestly don't mind the photos where I'm supposedly cheating but these pictures of me and Zayn having sex pushed my limit.

I don't even deserve to wear the promise ring on my finger anymore. I'm not worthy of it. I'm not worthy of Zayn's love. I wore it by putting it as a necklace piece.

I park near Zayn's apartment, taking sweet time to get to Zayn's apartment. It's unbelievable how just a few photos changed everything. I was already about to cry. I'm going to cry just thinking about it. I take the extra key, unlocking the door and walking in. Zayn was on the couch, wearing skinny jeans and a white t-shirt.

He smiles but it quickly turns into a frown when he sees my facial expression.

"Harry are you okay?" He raises an eyebrow

"I... No... I'm not okay..." I mumble out

"What's going on? I mean, you became kind of distant... One day we're together and happy and the next... You're just... gone..."

"It just that... I think.... We... We need to break up." I say, barely above a whisper

Zayn cringes. Oh his facial expression... It was breaking my heart already. Tears wet my cheeks. I can't stand to look at him anymore. Luckily for me, the tears blurred my vision so I couldn't really see his face anymore.

"Why?" Zayn whimpers

"I can't explain why..." I refuse to make eye contact with him

"Tell me!"

"No!"

"Tell me now!"

"I cheated for fucks sake!"

It becomes silent. I knew I didn't cheat, at least I hoped that I really didn't. I feel like I didn't. I love him too much to cheat while even drunk. I just can't do this. I need to get this over with. That was the fastest way to push him away.

"I'm so sorry Zayn... I was really drunk... I love you so much... I'll grab my stuff later" I whisper before rushing out of the house, not even giving him a kiss on the cheek

When I got into the car, I broke down right away. I hold the ring he gave me in my hand tightly as I let out a sob. Where was I supposed to go from here?

...

I got back home, waited a while and then went to Zayn's to pick my stuff up. I had a small box of Zayn's stuff from my house that he dropped off. After I gather my stuff, I stop to look at him.

"Well... I'll see you around..." I force my best smile, my eyes bloodshot

Zayn and I just look at each other. Before I know it, my stuff is scattered on the ground and I'm pushed up against the wall. He slams his lips against mine, pinning my arms up on the wall. I move my lips against his, my cheeks red.

"Zayn... No..." I mumble against his lips, but he continues to just kiss me

I moan into his mouth, still kissing him. I know I have to stop but might as well have one last kiss, right? Suddenly, I just freeze. Tears start streaming down my face again.

"Harry... Look we can work this through..." Zayn looks at me, his eyes red and watery

"I don't want to hurt you anymore... I'm sorry, Zayn. It's for the best... Maybe you'll even find a guy better than me. You most likely will... There's so many guys out there you can find that will be loyal, perfect, beautiful-..." My voice cracks as I choke up on tears

I move my arms from his hands and pick up all my stuff again. I whisper one last good bye to Zayn before walking out of the apartment for good.

...

I may have been crying all day... Maybe all week... I might of skipped classes. I was too sad to even get out of bed. I didn't want to face the world. I had to let go of the person who I love dearly. I won't ever get over him.

Niall got back from classes and of course, I was in bed crying. Niall sighs, dropping his backpack and making his way into my room. He gets in bed without a word, wrapping his arms around me. I instantly hold onto him, crying into his chest.

"Let it out, let it out... " he rubs my back

I cry harder, gripping his t-shirt. He knew Zayn and I broke up, he didn't know why though. Could I tell him the truth behind it? But what if I actually did cheat? This was all so confusing... I wish I had asked Emily to see the pictures. Maybe I could of remembered something and proved her wrong.

I stare into nothing, a puddle on the bed from all my tears. I felt pathetic. Niall takes a deep breath, staring at me. Here we go... He's going to ask...

"Can you tell me why now?" Knew it...

"I just don't know how to explain it... And I don't want to... It still hurts, if you couldn't tell..." I mumble

"It's fine... Tell me when you're ready to talk about it then..." He tells me, kissing my cheek, "Louis is coming over and I'm making dinner... Are you gonna eat with us?"

I shake my head before closing my eyes. I don't want to see Niall upset. I just hear him sigh and mutter an "okay" before taking off.

When Louis arrived, Niall was still cooking so Louis came to my room for a while. He tried bringing up happy memories to make me smile or crack a joke but I just couldn't seem to even smile a little bit.

I felt bad. Niall and Louis were trying so hard to get answers from me and to get me to smile but I just wouldn't. Sometimes I wouldn't even talk to them. I would just turn over and stay silent. I felt like a douche.

The only thing that would make me smile is being in Zayn's arms.

...

A month after I broke up with Zayn, we ignored each other completely. Sometimes, we would find one another staring. Most of the time he would be staring and I would get on the verge of tears every time I saw him starting.

Two months in and we starting just saying a simple "hi" as we passed by each other. It still hurt. I would mostly hang out with Luke now.

Four months in and I'm going crazy. I'm screaming, having nightmares, crying. Niall even tried to convince me to see a therapist. I was going crazy without him.

Five months in and I tried to hurt myself. Niall caught me right when I found a bottle of pills, not allowing me to even open it. It ended up with the both of us crying and him holding me. I was becoming more distant again. Nothing was the same anymore.

I don't think anything is going to be the same ever again.

...

...

PLEASE DONT YELL AT ME.

ANYWAYS SCHOOL IS OVER FOR ME UNTIL AUGUST NOW YAY. I ENDED OFF REALLY TERRIBLY THOUGH...

ANYWAYS, HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER. VOTE AND COMMENT PLEASE. LOVE YOU GUYS!