My ray of sunshine (on hold)

Ace

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"I cannot be with her,
But I can always love her."
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She didn't came to school two days
ago.

And yesterday.

AND today.

I get why, and I cannot blame her.

But knowing she's not here hurts me.

Knowing I couldn't protect her from the trauma, again.

Knowing that she's hurt because I didn't tell her that I love her sooner.

Knowing that she's traumatized because I didn't stop her from going to that date.

I feel nothing but guilt.

I felt a soft touch on my shoulder,"Are you okay?"

I turned around to see Ian.

"What?" I asked, not understanding why the fuck is Ian talking to me.

He looked concerned,"You've been staring at that wall for the last hour, you missed your class, I think, I actually don't know if you have class."

Why is he being nice to me?

He's trying to be with Blair.

So why is he nice to me?

Does he seek for my approval?

Cause he ain't getting it.

"What the hell do you want?" I asked, not wanting to play his silly mind games.

He seemed surprised by my reaction, "I want to know if you're okay, dude, calm your tits!"

Yeah, of course he wants to know if I'm okay.

How dumb does he think I am?

(  A/n
Really dumb, if you can't see that man is gay asf )

"I'm fine." I said.

Liar!

I'm a liar.

I'm not fine.

Her not being here...it kills me.

He looked at me, eyes widening, "I do not know why you're pissed at me, but I'll let it pass, because you're Blair's friend, and I'm Blair's friend."

I'm much more than her friend.

But the fact he said he's her friend...makes me so fucking confused.

"So?" I asked, trying to realize what he's trying to say.

He smiled, "so technically..we're friends."

He said it so simply, as if friendships can be build this way, as if Being a friend of a friend makes you friends, as if it's that simple.

I wish it was.

"You want to be friends?" I asked, sounding like a kindergarten.

He looked at me, dropping his head, "Now you're making me sound like a girl , don't make me repeat myself, I beg you."

"Why?" I asked, does he think I'll just hand him Blair if we're friends?

"Because, repeating myself makes me sound like a little kid." He said, not understanding my question."