- MON
"Hey, you look so pretty"
Kakalabas ko lang ng bathroom after putting my make up on and yan ang bungad sakin ni Veen. The theme of Jamie's birthday is casual red so I'm wearing a simple floral lace cami dress while Veen is so hot and pretty on her feather trim single button blazer dress. Looking at her right now, I realized, that she really is gay.
My God. She screams gay right now.
Lumapit siya sa akin at inilagay ang kamay niya sa waist ko. I wrapped my hands on her nape and looked at her.
"You look so good too babi"
Nakatitig lang siya sa akin. It's almost 6PM and kami nalang ni Veen ang nandito sa kwarto dahil bumaba na si Jamie kanina to check the venue with T and make sure na okay na lahat.
"Let's go?"
Hihilain niya na sana ako palabas nang pinigilan ko siya. Veen gave me a confused look so I smiled at her and slowly guided her towards the end of the bed. Umupo kami.
"I want to talk to you about something babi"
Hinawakan ko ang dalawang kamay niya and took a deep breath.
"We haven't fully discussed about you coming out to me last time. I-I just want to ask why you hid it from me?"
I felt the tension on her hands after I asked her that. She was just looking at me with a calm face as if her hands are not showing how nervous she is.
"Remember when T first told us about having a girlfriend? You were 12 that time and we were 15. The gang was genuinely happy for her at that time, but you remained silent. Hanggang naiwan nila tayong dalawa and you asked me a question"
I cut her off.
"Isn't girls for boys only? Like Adam and Eve?"
Veen nodded because of what I said. I still remember it. That's what I asked her at that time. I was so confused why T was allowed to like girls when I grew up believing that romantic love is only for the opposite sex.
I know. Kaya siguro napakareliable ko sa mga tao sa paligid ko kasi hindi talaga ako mature mag-isip. I was 12 at that time pero close minded pa rin ako sa mga ganitong bagay.
"I told you that time bun, that love is not only limited for the opposite sex. Love is for everyone. I explained it to you but you were still confused. A year after that, I realized that I fell in love with this girl"
She smiled when she mentioned this girl. She looks so genuinely happy that it made my heart ache. Kung sino man ang babaeng mahal niya, napakaswerte nito kay Veen. I don't know who she is yet but I already felt envious. Just thinking about how Veen would treat her if they happen to be a couple makes me so jealous and sad.
"I wanted to tell you that I like girls that time but that look you gave me when you asked that question keeps on haunting me. Kahit alam kong sa panahon na yun tanggap mo na si Taylor at sanay ka nang nakikita siyang nagkakagusto sa babae. It still made me so scared. Because it's me, it's Veen. I don't want you to be disappointed in me. Hell, I was more afraid of telling you about it than telling my family."
I cut her off again.
"Because you know they would understand you better than I would"
She nodded her head as an agreement to what I said. It's me then. Kaya ayaw niyang sabihin sa akin ang preference niya dahil baka hindi ko siya tanggapin. Ang sakit naman. Masakit na nakakagalit. Nagagalit ako sa sarili ko kasi all this time Veen made me feel that it's okay to be myself when I'm around her but I never made her feel the same way. I failed to make her feel the same security and trust she gave me.
