- MON
I have only realized how I missed her so much when I saw her lying on the hospital bed that I was not able to stop myself but cry and give out loud painful sobs.
As soon as I went near her, I gently took her left hand while shaking and tears blurring out my vision. Our family is here. Tito Samuel, Tita Lourdes, Lolo Vincent, Mom and Dad. Lola A needed to rest because the hospital is not good for her weak immune system.
I looked at Veen and wiped my tears.
Inilapit ko ang kanang kamay niya sa pisngi ko and I closed my eyes.
This hand is not the same hand that once held me with warmth and softness. They're rough and cold. I opened my eyes and looked at her. My Veen, my Veen has her eyes closed, her whole face is pale and her whole body looks thin. She really looks like she endured a lot and fought a lot.
Ang sakit. Ang sakit-sakit na wala akong ibang magawa kundi lumuhod habang hawak-hawak ang kamay niya. I felt my Mom's hands on my shoulder but it did not stop me from showing how weak I am right now. How helpless I am for seeing her helpless on this bed.
I cried hard and gave out painful sobs. I have been keeping all these pain for the past 3 days because I wanted to pull myself together and stay strong while waiting for her. Out of all the people inside this room, I am the one who has the biggest regret. Dahil hinayaan kong umalis si Veen na hindi sinasabi sa kanya na mahal ko siya. I let her leave and float in the ocean for days with a weary heart.
Napakasama ko.
I slowly raised my left hand and searched for the ring on my necklace before I closed my eyes again.
"I'm here now, love. Thank you for coming back"
I painfully whispered while my tears are slowly falling along with the broken pieces of my heart.
Hinayaan lang nila akong umiiyak dahil alam kong alam din nila kung gaano kabigat ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Minutes passed until I felt someone helping me get up. Tumingala ako and I saw Lolo Vincent smiling at me.
"Tahan na, Monica. Surely, Sam won't be happy if she sees you like this. She fought well, apo. And I know she will keep fighting, let's show her that we're strong and we're with her during this battle"
I hugged him while we're both looking at Veen who's lying on the bed. Ang daming hospital equipment ang nakakabit sa katawan niya and it makes it more painful for me to see her like that. Never in my life have I imagined that I will come to this point. Veen was the healthiest person I know, napakasakit makitang wala siyang kalaban-laban ngayon.
But Lolo Vincent was right, we need to show Veen that we're with her and fighting with her. I know, even if she's sleeping right now, I know that she feels us, unconsciously, she's aware that we're here.
Tita Lourdes joined the hug and we all looked at Veen wishing and hoping for her to recover soon. I will not leave you love, not now, not ever.
Nandito lang ako. Nandito pa rin.
***
"Little kid, alam kong ayaw mong iwanan si Sam pero you need to rest. You look exhausted"
"Mon, simula nang makabalik tayo dito sa Manila hindi ka na umalis sa tabi ni Captain. You've been staying here for 5 days already"
I looked at Jamie and T who's sitting on the couch in front of me. Nandito kami ngayon sa living room ng hospital room ni Veen. It's already 5 days since we went back here in Manila. Tito Sam and Dad decided to put her here in the hospital where they work, that they somehow own because of shares.
