- MON
"Mon, you should sleep"
Inalis ko ang pagtitig sa kalmadong dagat para tingnan si Tita Lourdes na lumapit sa tabi ko. She smiled at me and gently stroked my arm to relieve me from the cold breeze of the night.
"I can't sleep, Tita. I miss Veen"
Unti-unting namuo ang mga luha sa mata ko. Hindi ko na alam. I feel like I lost myself the moment I lost Veen. For the past days, I've been a wreck. I might show everyone that I'm strong but everytime I'm alone, I feel like slowly drifting away to the darkness. I feel empty.
"I miss her too, Mon. Everyday, I pray for her to come back to us. I pray for her safety wherever she is right now, my poor Veen"
Mahinang humikbi si Tita kaya lumapit ako sa kanya pagkatapos kong punasan ang mga luha ko at niyakap siya ng mahigpit. Veen is Tita Lourdes' miracle child. I still remember when she told me about how thankful they are for having Veen. Nasabihan si Tita Lourdes ng mga doktor noon na mahihirapan siyang mabuntis at kung mabubuntis man siya, it's gonna be very complicated. And it was. When she was pregnant with Veen she had a lot of complications that Tito Sam almost lost them both. Kaya hindi na siya nagbuntis ulit dahil natakot sila sa kung anong mas malalang mangyari.
Sakitin si Veen noong bata pa siya, napakasensitive ng katawan niya kaya she grew up being so conscious about her health because she cannot risk it- kaya siya naging active when it comes to fitness and sports. Napakaoverprotective ng lahat sa kanya lalo na ni Tita Lourdes. I still remember how Tita takes care of her and how she gets hysterical everytime Veen gets hurt, so I cannot imagine her pain right now. Siguro mas doble pa sa nararamdaman ko ang nararamdaman niya dahil sa nangyayari.
We are both helpless. We are both left with no other choice but to cry and feel the pain of losing Veen in such a tragic way.
"Let's stop crying"
Bulong niya bago umalis sa pagkakayakap at pinunasan ang mga luha niya. She also wiped my tears and smiled at me. She has Veen's smile.
"We should stay strong and wait for Veen. I know, if she's here, she wouldn't like if we cry, especially that it's your birthday. Happy 18th birthday anak"
She kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and made a wish as I hear the sound of the waves from the sea.
October 17, 12:37AM. On my 18th birthday, I am still waiting for you babi. I'm still here. I will always be here.
***
Nagising ako nang maramdaman kong may nakatitig sa akin.
I opened my eyes and my forehead creased when I saw Mom and Dad looking at me. They look tired but somehow relieved. Their faces has that kind of glow.
"M-Mom? Dad? Bakit kayo nandito sa kwarto ko? What time is it?"
For the past 3 days that we're here on T's resort waiting for Veen, most of the time, I wanted to be alone. Kaya nagdecide ako na kumuha ng room for myself. For the past 3 days I was just longing for her. Parati kong tinitingnan ang mga pictures namin sa phone ko. I read all the poems I wrote for her and realized that I have been in love with her since a long time ago. I was just really naïve to realize it. And that's the biggest regret that I have right now, the regret of not being able to tell her how much I love her and how much I always want to be with her- today, tomorrow and the rest of the days that we can be together.
Yes, tatlong araw nang nawawala si Veen, but we haven't given up. When the authorities talked to us yesterday, they wanted to declare her as dead and missing that it made all of us mad. Lolo Vincent even screamed and swore that he will do anything in his power to find Veen whether they will help us or not. He even hired professional search and rescue teams from the US to help us find Veen. We cannot give up. Kahit kailan, hindi naggive-up si Veen sa aming lahat. She always kept her promises and we will do ours as well. And our promise is to find her wherever she is right now.
