-MON
As soon as the song ended, Veen gave me a smile while her tears are still falling. She folded the handkerchief that she used as a blindfold earlier and used it to gently wipe my tears after wiping hers. I removed my hands from her nape and put it on her waist, para hindi siya mahirapan sa ginagawa niya.
Have you ever felt so happy that you think everything that's happening is too good to be true? Yan yung nararamdaman ko ngayon. Para akong nananaginip sa sobrang saya. And if this is really a dream, I would rather choose to sleep forever. I don't want to stop feeling this way.
My heart is so happy. So fucking happy.
Nang matapos na si Veen sa pagpunas ng mga luha ko ay inayos niya ang buhok ko. She placed the small strands of hair that's on my face at the back of my ears. I miss her doing that. Naiiyak na naman ako.
Ngumiti siya sa akin at kinuha ang mga kamay kong nasa bewang niya. She held them tight as she started talking.
"Mon, do you know what I was thinking the whole time that I was floating in the middle of the sea when our chopper crashed?"
I started to feel a lump on my throat because of what she said. That accident again. That was a nightmare for all of us here and I just can't imagine what it is for Veen. As much as possible I don't wanna go back there.
"I was just thinking about us Bunny. I was just thinking about my promise to you. I was just thinking about everything we did for the last 12 years. As the hours pass by and I'm still in the ocean, I began to feel helpless so I decided to pray. I prayed that if I will get to live again, I will do my best to live my life to the fullest. I will do my best to create more and better memories. That's why when I woke up in the hospital, I decided to leave for Baguio"
She started tearing up. Nakikinig lang ako sa kanya. Nakikinig lang kaming lahat sa kanya. Because this is gonna be the first time she will tell us everything after that accident.
"Nung nasa dagat ako, Bun. Naisip kong sa lahat ng alaala na meron ako sa buhay ko, nandun ka. You were there because I was always with you. That's why when I said I will create more and better memories, I was talking about memories with everyone- not just you. Sabi ko nun, I made you my whole world that I forgot to live my life the way it should be. I was so caught up with being your Veen that I forgot to be Samantha to everyone else- my friends, my grandparents, my Mom and Dad"
I cried because of the pain I felt when she said that. Indeed, it was like I got her wrapped around my fingers. Maybe because alam niyang dependent ako sa kanya noon kaya hindi niya napapansin na lumalayo na pala siya sa ibang taong parte ng buhay niya. Lumalayo na siya sa buhay na dapat ineenjoy niya without just thinking about me all the time.
As I listened to Veen, flashbacks came rushing to my mind.
Lahat ng mga panahon na lumalabas ako at dapat nandun siya. Lahat ng mga araw na sinusundo niya niya ako papunta sa school. Lahat ng mga panahon na iniwan niya ang mga kailangan niyang gawin kasi kailangan ko siya. Everything that she needed to sacrifice for me.
"That's why I left for Baguio, Bunny. And it was the best decision ever. Because I learned a lot there. Mas lalo kong napahalagahan yung buhay ko at yung mga taong parte ng buhay ko. Seeing a seed grow into a green and healthy plant made me think about how precious life is. But when I came back and remembered how I treated you, I realized another mistake I made"
Suminghot siya dahil sa pag-iyak niya. She looks so sorry right now. Nakikita yung pagsisisi sa mukha niya nang magsalita siya about her treatment towards me. I just wiped her tears and shook my head.
"It's fine, love. You're fine"
I whispered. She just closed her eyes and held my hand on her face. She's still holding the other one as she continued talking.
