Roses

Chapter 3

It was a crazy,insane, absolutely unrealistic idea: one that relied entirely on chance and luck. But it was a way for me to see Nick again. Even for only a couple years and even though I would have to leave everyone and everything I knew behind.

I knew that the moment I thought about it,it was settled. There would be no question about it. The second it came to mind I knew that I would carry through with it. It was a way to see Nick again and guarantee my future: my future with Nick.

The plan wouldn't just come without consequences though. I would have to leave my family, friends, home, country! Everything I grew up with and everyone I knew would be left behind. I would be separated from all that by one,big ocean, impossible to cross without a plane. I guess that I knew I would have to give everything up. But by this point in my life, I was old enough to make my own decisions and too broken to go on without Nick. I would never forgive myself if I had had a chance to see Nick again and I didn't take it. So trying to work up the nerve to carry through with my plan wasn't the problem.

Money was one problem. Actually it was a HUGE problem. I would need to raise enough cash to get across the Atlantic, get a house/apartment somewhere in London, get a car, and still have enough money for essentials I needed to survive!

Information was another factor. In order for my plan to succeed and bring Nick and me back together, I would need to know exactly where he was and what college he had been accepted to. Every single detail was imperative in this and couldn't afford to be overlooked. ( You could say that I was stalking but I looked at it this way: if I didn't go and follow Nick, I am pretty sure that I would eventually break and start cutting. )

And then there would be the most big problem of all that stood in the way of me and my plan being carried out: family. Family and friends would take a GIGANTIC toll on this. I would need to time my departure from America VERY, VERY carefully! It would have to be at a time when no one I knew was around. Otherwise all my resolve might crumble and I couldn't let that happen.

"Allie!" my moms voice drifted up from the kitchen and cut through my thoughts. "huh?" I answered. "your sister tells me you have homework! She says that you have some test in ELA on Monday!"

Shoot! School! I had overlooked one thing in my brilliant plan and that was indeed high school. I couldn't just pack up and go to England when my education wasn't even finished yet! I still had a whole quarter of calculus and engineering to take before I was done with high school!

"Allie?" my mom walked into my room and I hurriedly wiped the tears from my earlier break down that still clung to my face. "what?" I asked innocently, looking up at my mother. "you didn't answer me. " she said sternly, her face a mask of annoyance. "what? Huh? Oh.... Sorry! I was... Uh.... Um.... Thinking." I mumbled. " well you have to pay attention when I'm speaking to you! It's rude when you answer me and than zone out when I'm trying to talk to you!" my mom scolded me. " your sister told me that you have a test tomorrow in ELA is this true?" I shook my head. "no. The test is tomorrow. Grace got mixed up." I explained, grabbing my phone off the bed and peeking at the new message I had gotten. My mom snatched the phone from my hands. "don't text while I'm trying to have a conversation with you! Dinners gonna be ready in 10 minutes, I would like you to take a shower before than." she told me, placing the phone on my bedside table. I nodded and stood up, crossing the room to my pj drawer and pulling out a pair of pink checkered pants and a pink Virginia Tech t shirt. My mom left the room and no sooner did she close the door than I sat back down on my bed.

The only possible way that this plan was gonna work was if I waited until school was over. There was only one more quarter left in the whole year that I had to wait before launching my plan. In that time I could work some extra shifts in my job at the Supermarket to get some extra bucks and plan out how and when I was gonna leave. Plus I kinda wanted to finish my senior year in high school. That way I wouldn't have to leave my friends so soon and I could still say that I graduated and finish off the high school track season. So in a way, having another quarter of preparation to what was upcoming was a good thing.

So to make sure that I carried through with my plan and didn't forget about it once high school was over, I went outside in my backyard to my dads rose bush, plucked a single ruby red rose from the bush, pressed it to my index finger pushing down so the thorns sank into my skin drawing blood and creating a very big, deep cut, got a vase, put the rose with my blood on it into the vase, and put the vase on my nightstand where I could see it and be remembered.