sincerely, amity

raine

Luz sat in her bed with the diaries sprawled in front of her. Maybe she'd read them one day, but as of now she had enough on her plate. It had been two days since she'd gotten them from the Blight Manor.

Hesitantly, Luz picked up the books, and slid them under her bed. She stood up straight and stretched. Nighttime slowly crept through her window. She sighed, walking out of her room to take a shower.

She ran her fingers through her hair, massaging shampoo into her scalp. Her head buzzed with thoughts.

School was starting back soon. Amity wasn't there. It had almost been 2 months since Amity died. The diary's pages were slowly thinning.

She backed into the water, using her hands to help work the shampoo out.

The diary's pages were thinning.

Part of her wanted to be done with that stupid diary. She wanted to read the last page, cry for a few minutes, then carry on with her life like nothing ever happened. But deep in her heart, she never wanted it to end. She wanted to keep reading about the medicine Amity had to take, about how many ceiling tiles there were in her room, about how much Amity wanted to be at the beach.

What she really wanted was incredibly selfish, and really impossible. What she really wanted was for Amity to be above ground, living in breathing, maybe in the brunette's arms.

Luz turned off the water, shook her air, and stepped out onto the bathmat. She grabbed her towel, dried herself, then wrapped it around her body, walking back out to her room.

She threw on an oversized tee and some shorts, slipping back into bed, picking up the diary.

september 1st

fuck.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

sincerely, amity

Luz furrowed her eyebrows in confusion at the outburst. Her eyes glanced up at the date, and suddenly, she didn't want to read anymore. Her stomach churned, and she found herself lifting up her bedroom window, throwing a plant glyph, and hopping out.

She silently strolled down to the edge of the small cliff Eda's house was on. She took a seat, looking out into the dark sea ahead of her. The stars sparkled off the water, the moon creating a large glowing ripple down the middle.

Luz exhaled, and the wind seemed to as well. It blew past her face, spitting strands of wet hair onto her cheeks.

She breathed in the dewy night air, really letting it hit her lungs. She sat there for what felt like hours. She just sat and stared into the sea, watching bats fly, listening to the waves crash.

She was just about to get up to leave, when another body sat down beside her. She turned, startled slightly.

"This is my favorite place to come and sit," Eda said.

Luz nodded, relief washing over her.

"It's nice,"

The two looked out into the night, not saying a word.

"Eda.. what happened to Raine?"

Eda turned to look at the human, a small pang hitting her heart.

"Raine," She repeated. "Oh,"

Silence filled the air again. Luz didn't push.

"When we were juniors in college," She began. "Raine started having a lot of.. issues. Their mom passed away at the beginning of the year, they couldn't get a steady job, they ended up getting kicked out of the shabby apartment they were living in,"

Luz looked at the older witch, intrigued. Eda's eyes stayed focused on the sea ahead of them.

"That's when I let them come and stay with me. We ended up getting close during that time, and after about three months, we made it official. Raine still hadn't gotten a well-paying job at that point, and their grades started to flunk, so eventually, they dropped out of college,"

Eda looked at the ground, as if she was trying to remember something

"I helped them financially, I kept letting them live with me, everything was good. One day, they told me that their cousin across the Isles had offered for them to go live with her. Raine said that it would be best if they left to be closer to home, so, they decided to call it quits. Us, I mean,"

She paused, looking into the brunette's eyes.

"Raine didn't have cousins across the Isles. That night, they wrote me a letter, and flew to the Looking Glass Ruins. They killed themself that night, Luz. They.."

Eda looked away, stifling a sob. Luz noticed, and scooted closer, leaning her head on her shoulder.

"They fucking killed themself, and I didn't try to stop them. I knew they were struggling and I.."

"Shh.." Luz whispered, doing her best to calm her mentor. "It's not your fault. It isn't,"

Eda sobbed into the teen's arms. Luz didn't mind, she sat there and rubbed her back as long as she needed.

"I'm sorry," The older woman apologized as she wiped her eyes and pulled away from Luz.

"No, you didn't need to hold onto that anymore. I'm always going to be here for you," Luz replied, an unusual seriousness in her voice.

Eda smiled proudly at the kid.

"Let's get inside before we catch fuckin' hypothermia," She laughed, standing up and reaching a hand out to Luz.

Luz accepted it and pulled herself upright. The two walked inside, being careful not to wake Hooty.

They said their goodnights, then walked to their rooms. Luz closed her bedroom door and walked over to the open window that she'd slipped out of. She shut and locked it, and climbed back into bed.

She grabbed the diary.

September 1st

I'm dying.