Hate & Love

Forgiveness

Moni's PoV

Graduation was right around the corner and I couldn't be more excited. I was ready to close this chapter of my life.

High school was truly an experience for me but it didn't end how I expected it to end.

I came into high school with my best friends and I was leaving with none. I guess it's true when they say not everyone is going to stick with you through high school.

My senior year has been the worst year in my whole school career. I knew there was going to be some repercussions from Dee joining Chiefs gang, I just didn't know how bad it would be.

Ever since New years, I've been going over the past events that has led to where I am right now. At first, I thought the reason Dee couldn't tell me she loved me was because It was never real. I felt as if she had did me just as she did all her other hoes.

Maybe this was karma for leading Zion on. Even though the relationship with him was a lousy one. Zion cared more about how I acted with others more than how we're together. It's was always "you can't do this" and "you can't do that". I thought it was cute at first but then it was all just overbearing. We were too young to be dictating how we had to act when our relationship wasn't even public.

When I finally decided to end things with Zion, I somehow found myself being wooed by Dee. It was thrilling, having Mercedes declare her feeling for me.

Even though, I knew it would be fucked up on my part if entertained her because then I would have been involved with both of my best-friends in a way that was peculiar friendships.

Yet, I fell for it. The feelings and thoughts that I had for Mercedes but always pushed away somehow forced it's way up.

In the midst of this, Mercedes was joining a gang. The second I found out about her working for Chief I should have kept my distance but I couldn't.

I supported her even then, whilst I had kicked Zion to the curb. Even when we weren't on bad terms, we were distant. Zion was once my best-friends, someone I could laugh with and cry with. We went from talking to each other everyday to every once in a while.

Now he's gone.

And this wouldn't be the case if Mercedes didn't get involved in the streets. I know Zion's death was an accident. He wasn't the intended target, why would he be?

I was angry with Dee, for a while because of the way she ended things between us. We didn't even truly breakup, we just never spoke again. However, Dee never even asked me to be her girlfriend.

When I came to that realization, I somewhat understood why things happened how they happened.

Mercedes was never ready for a real relationship. She might've been crushing on me for a while and we were friends since forever but that didn't mean she was going to be any different with me than how she was in her previous situations.

She might've thought it was different, which led me to thinking it was different but we were just going along with something that felt right in the moment.

I truly did believe what we had was special. She did make me feel as if I were, when we were together. But her continuous absence said otherwise.

We even had an assigned day for when we would spend time together. What couple has a assigned day to see each other.We stay 10 minutes away from one another. Spending time together whenever we wanted wasn't a hard task.