Hate & Love

Birthday Tingz

Shay's POV

"Bro I'm not doing anything for my birthday so whatever you planned kill it.", I said as I was washing my hands at my kitchen sink.

Mercedes is trying to get me to go out for my birthday, but I'm not interested. Birthday's aren't really special for me after losing my dad. He used to do the most extraordinary things for me every birthday.

When I turned 13 my dad flew me and my mom out to Haiti, Where we learned and experienced the creole culture. It was an amazing trip for me, I love learning about new cultures. The history, evolution and art of different cultures gives so much color to the world. Even though all history isn't pretty, it makes us who we are today (the good and the bad).

That was my last birthday with my father and I don't think anything can top that.

"Shay, just let me take you out to eat or sum. There's no way I'm not gonna do sum.", Dee said.

I know Dee isn't going to let up, but I seriously didn't want to do anything. It's cute and all but I'm good on it.

Me and Dee have been spending a lot more time together lately and she's been giving me a lot of girlfriend treatment. I haven't really addressed it because it's not not wanted but I'm still iffy about taking whatever we were to the next level. Especially with Moni still staying with her. I don't want it to seem like me and her were fucking around this whole time and cause drama. She's already been rubbing me the wrong way when ever I went over to Dee's house.

So, I stopped going over there whenever she was there. "Well find a way cause I'm finna enjoy my day off in my bed", I laughed. Mercedes then got up off the couch and started walking towards my room. "Why are you going in my room?", I asked.

I followed behind her, and the next thing you know, Dee was flipping my top mattress over off my bed.

"Mercedes what the fuck!", I couldn't help but laugh at her childishness.

"Now I'm taking you out, no excuses. Be ready by four.", she brushed past me as I just stood their flabbergasted. I heard my front door close and I let out a sigh.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I was still lonely with no one but myself to keep me company. Its currently 12 in the afternoon, I was planning on rewatching Game of Thrones all day but I guess not.

I went to wash and got dressed for this mysterious occasion we were attending. It took me three hours to be nearly ready because Dee called me to tell me to put on my best fit. I've never been so irritated in my life.

I was touching up my hair in the mirror. I was also taking the time to admire myself in this blue snake patterned corset with a matching fitted skirt. "I'm sexy as fuck."

I haven't actually gotten dolled up in a while. I've had this for about a year and a half but never got to wear it because I stopped going out. When I fell out with a friend who was easily manipulated into treating me like everyone else did, going out was cut out..

It's really weird how all this shit happens to me. I literally have the worst high school experience. All because I chose to give it up to the wrong nigga.

I dwell on that mistake everyday, things may have been a little different for me if I kept my legs closed. I have beaten myself up over that one mistake too many times. Even though I've grown tough skin and developed confidence that keeps me mentally strong. It still sucks to think about.

So that night at the graduation party really triggered me. The whole situation was just embarrassing, as tipsy as I was the liquor couldn't even hide my embarrassment.