Forbidden Love [#Wattys2015]

Chapter 13: The Worst Kind Of Pain

Thank to @wantedreject for the cover above.

Chapter 13:

You know those times when everything's closing in on you and you don't know if you can breathe? When suddenly everything and everybody is unknown and life just seems a little blander? When you palms get sweaty and your heart picks up pace and starts to beat really fast? Yeah? Well, that's how I felt when I walked through the cafeteria doors and talked to Tyler.

This might seem like I'm going on a date with him or something big is going to happen with him. It sounds like I'm a nervous wreck because Tyler is taking me on a date but it wasn't like that. Yes it was because of Tyler that I was feeling so but this wasn't the situation at all. Frankly, it was two worlds apart from the situation which actually took place.

I was cruising through the hallways towards the cafeteria, pretty much in the honeymoon phase of Tyler and my relationship. I bet my eyes had that glint in them which a five year old has when you give him his favourite toys and chocolates. I was deeply infatuated with him and completely obsessed with this new founded relationship of mine. No one had ever been so gentlemen-like to me wanting me as a person and not as a body. No one had ever been so patient with me. No one had ever enjoyed sessions of actual dates where you eat dinner in fancy restaurants or play ski-ball, they had always enjoyed hot make out sessions instead.

I was happy to be with him and I loved every moment of it. Even though I knew this phase wasn't going to last long and that I was going to get hurt sooner or later, I was happy to enjoy every second with him. If not my whole life, at least my high school life could be spent with someone as special as him.

I entered the hallways, smiling widely. I saw Tyler and made eye contact with him. I smiled with my eyes twinkling but his eyes just stared back at me coldly. I frowned, making my eyes furrow in concern. Was Tyler alright? I thought to myself. His eyes were filled with a mixture of guilt and remorse. It was like his eyes were begging me to pull him out of what he was doing or was about to do. I, myself, felt the need to do so, to put him out of his misery.

I walked towards him, perplexed. I reached him and touched his shoulder and raised my eyebrows, asking him if everything was alright or if he needed anything. I felt a sudden ache in my heart. It was like I knew something bad was about to happen.

He suddenly shook his head as if coming back to reality. He took my hand off of his shoulder and looked very uncomfortable. I searched his eyes for some signal, some sign to tell me what was happening to him.

"Selena." He suddenly spoke. His voice was hoarse and tense.

"Hey Tyler. Are you okay?" I asked with my voice full of concern.

"Hey Selena. What is up today?" He suddenly changed his tone and became happy. He stressed each and every syllable making me question his attitude today. I looked at him confused, waiting for an answer.

"Oh Selena. You like me right?" He asked, changing his tone of voice once again.

"Of course I do Tyler. Why are you asking?" I said with a small laugh to nervousness that was building up inside of me.

"Because I don't like you." I stared at him in shock. Did I just hear what I thought he just said?

"Excuse me?" I stuttered.

"I don't like you. Never did." He shut my mouth with his hand when I was about to interrupt him. "Just let me talk." He said.

"See, I don't even know why you thought I would like you. Nobody likes you. Everybody is just there either for popularity or your body. Nobody likes you for you. Actually people can't stand you. You are pretty annoying. I have no clue how I survived so many days with you. Oh my god, I am phenomenal." He said while throwing his hands up in the air.

"It's so funny how it was so easy to fool you. Did you really think 'us' was going to happen? You gave me a good laugh. Thank you very much for that." He continued. By this time, tears had already pricked my eyes and I didn't know what to do except for fiddling with my hands and biting my lips so I don't start bawling.

"Then why did you pretend?" I managed to ask.

"Why did I? It's because you hurt my brother. Did you actually think he was that stupid? Yeah he's failed two grades, so what? You had no rights to deceive him the way you did. So I did exactly what you did to him. Does it feel nice? No it doesn't, but I don't care."

Tears were streaming down my face and now I couldn't control it. I felt so betrayed and hurt. It hit me like a ton of bricks and my heart shattered into a million pieces. When I saw Tyler's face before he told me this, I never in a million years thought that this would happen.

He was making me feel guilty for what I did to Drew. He had said that he wouldn't hold me responsible for cheating on Drew because it wasn't him. But all along he was playing a game, I wasn't aware of. A game which ruined me, shattered me and crushed me. A game which had swallowed my body whole and now my body was begging to get out of this. But I was in too deep. He had already scarred me. He had already let me feel the heart break. He had already broken my heart.

I searched his eyes, trying to understand him. He looked away probably ashamed, but then again with the way he just acted probably not.

I swallowed the lump which had formed in my throat and smiled. I wiped my tears away and decided I wasn't going to let him see that he hurt me. I smiled like nothing was wrong, I pretended like everything was alright and acted like it's all perfect and that I'm fine with what Tyler just did, even though inside it really hurts.

This was the worst kind of pain I had ever experienced. I had to smile just to stop the tears from falling, just to let Tyler know that he didn't affect me one bit.

I looked around at everyone once more. Everybody had shocked expressions casting their faces. I sighed inwardly. This is what my school was like. Wherever gossip went, they went.

I looked back at Tyler. He smirked and I shook my head in disappointment. I looked at him in disgust and turned on my heel and left.

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Hey:)

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Love,

Z<3