Of Fake Smiles and Broken Hearts

nine

Kyungsoo stands in front of a building holding up his cellphone and making sure if he went to the right address that Baekhyun texted him earlier today. He blinks up at the less than innocent sign staring back at him in its neon colored glory. There were a few people around the area and he silently thanks Baekhyun that they're all wearing decent clothes. The bass of the song thumped in his chest with the beat constantly as he walks inside, trying to spot his friends through the thick crowd and blinking lights above him.

He had been to clubs—even before he's in legal age (befriending Jongdae has some perks), but did nothing more than to silently pray for a miracle and get out of the place immediately. Kyungsoo suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks over his shoulders and sees Chanyeol smirking down at him. They obviously started without him already, as if the alcoholic scent rubbing on Chanyeol isn't any clue.

"Kyungsoo," Chanyeol mumbles. He points towards a direction and he follows it with his gaze only to see Jongdae and Baekhyun laughing at something. Chanyeol tugs his shirt and drags him towards the two.

"Hey!" Baekhyuns says as he slings an arm around him. "What took you so long?"

"I had to finish my presentation for Monday." Kyungsoo answers. The air is uncomfortably thick inside, as if the air conditioning machines placed at every corner of the place wasn't doing their jobs on purpose. He tugs at the collar of his shirt. He's already sweating.

"You need to stop working so much." Jongdae says. He pushes a drink into Kyungsoo's hand and smiles.

He drank the liquid in one go, his eyes tearing up from the burn in his chest afterwards. Jongdae slowly claps his hands at this, looking thoroughly amused when Kyungsoo grabs another. "Thirsty?"

"Shut up." He answers.

Baekhyun always told him that he has the life of someone who would be having suicidal thoughts someday—only that his life wasn't so depressing (or so he thought). Why he said that, Kyungsoo didn't know. It still bothers him that it's exactly what's happening to him. He didn't even know what he was thinking when he was inside the bathroom yesterday, didn't really know what to do when he saw Jongin and Krystal together. All he knew was that the pain inside his chest was unbearable and the thoughts swirling in his head, the voices, faces, questions and what ifs are all too much to handle for someone with a weak heart. Isn't his life worth getting drunk and nursing an extreme headache the day after?

They talked about random things until Baekhyun and Chanyeol decided to go dance, leaving him and Jongdae. Kyungsoo had to admit that he was feeling a little hot-and not just because of the temperature inside. He looks at the empty glasses on the table and smiles at Jongdae. "I'm gonna go get a drink. You want anything?"

"I'm fine." Jongdae waves him off.