twenty

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"Does it hurt?" Yixing asks once Jongin let him inside.



"What?" Jongin asks. The older male told him that he was here to talk about a problem in the stock market because they had apparently sold some of their shares only to find out that the price doubled after it was sold. Yixing smiles warmly before sitting on the couch across the television. Jongin closes the door with a confused expression on his face, frowning once Yixing leaned back and looks smug.



"How do you feel?"



Jongin pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes in exasperation. How many times did he hear that question today? "I thought we're going to talk about a problem in the company?"



Yixing's grin widens and Jongin's not sure if he's supposed to get scared or not. He might have a butcher's knife in his hand and a sinister smile on his lips but people would still call him innocent. That's how Yixing is. "Of course, we are. I'm just asking about how you feel."



He is the first person that Jongin let inside his house besides Sehun and Taemin. Baekhyun and Chanyeol are an exception. He has to admit that he didn't want to let them in earlier, only being forced to open the door for Baekhyun's glares because they might have information as to where his husband is. But besides them, Jongin had shut the door closed and drawn the blinds down to hide in his own black hole of insecurities and disappointments. Sometimes he would push Sehun out of the door once he realizes what the latter is trying to do. Jongin sat up straight and look into the elder's eyes attentively. "What are you trying to do?"



He laughs, eyes crinkling and turning into small crescent moons. Jongin had always liked the way Yixing's laugh is genuine, with no hint of mockery whatsoever. But today his laugh is strained, like something was pulling him into the pit of loneliness with Jongin, as if something was holding him back. "I'm not trying to do anything."



"If Sehun sent you here to cheer me up, the door is open. Feel free to leave." Jongin says, mouth pressed in a thin line.



"Why would I bother to cheer you up when I'm not Kyungsoo?"



Jongin bit the insides of his cheeks. He sucked in his lower lip and licks at the chapped lip to moisten it. It makes sense. No matter how hard they try, no matter what they do, it still wouldn't compare to his husband. Kyungsoo is his source of strength but he's also his weakness.



Kyungsoo is also the one who can hurt him in one hundred ways and Jongin would still be in love with him.



Sehun might do something funny (such as hitting his head on the door because he's too tall) but Jongin wouldn't laugh like he used to. Luhan might say something snarky and funny but Jongin wouldn't laugh as hard as usual. He might seal a huge deal with a big time client, but Jongin wouldn't be smiling as the people around him clasps his shoulder and congratulate him on his success. But Kyungsoo is not like the rest. He could flash him a simple smile and Jongin would be laughing like an idiot over how beautiful he is. Jongin would laugh, smile, and cry because he knows that he's screwed. He knows that loving Kyungsoo is pretty much the best thing he had ever experienced but also the worst.

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