🥀 Love Yourself | Jikook

💔 Now I'm torn apart, will you fade? I'm so afraid 😰

Jungkook smiles the biggest cutest bunny smile I've ever seen.

"Happy Birthday hyung!" He says still smiling.

I want to kiss him, I want to kiss him so, so bad, but I resist.

Then I hear more footsteps. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIMIN-SSI!!!" The hyungs and Tae appear out from behind the wall carrying a handmade banner reading "!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY WE LOVE YOU MOCHI!!!" In big colourful letters.

They all hug me. I haven't had much physical contact with any of the hyungs or Jungkook in ages, the warmth surrounds me and takes away the aching feeling.

"Annnd, guess what? We have cake!" Hobi, Tae and Kook shout.

I smile, trying to match their level of excitement but the cake could be a problem. It's probably full of sugar and calories in the frosting alone. I can't eat it and ruin all my hard work.

"Alright," Jin-hyung commands, "Hobi, Yoongi you two cut and serve cake. I'll set up the V-Live."

V-Live, what's the point it's not like anyone will watch it? Then I get an idea that I can hide my face with a mask. If any of the members ask I'll just say that I'm not feeling well, it will also give me an excuse not to eat cake.

I grab a mask from the bathroom cabinet and put it on.

Hobi-hyung sees me first. "Are you feeling alright Min?"

"Yeah, I just think I'm coming down with a small cold is all."

"Okay, do you want some tea or anything? Hyung will make you some."

"Oh, no it's okay. I really don't feel that bad."

"That's good but tell us if you start feeling worse."

"Of course." I sigh, I almost made hyung go out of the way for me again.

Jungkook is immediately concerned when he sees my mask. I assure him it's just a tiny cold. He seems to believe me.

We greet ARMY and show the cake. People ask why I have the mask on and Jungkook answers for me.

"Minnie's caught a little cold, he'll be fine."

Lots of comments of "feel better, get well soon" and "stay healthy" appear in the comments section. I actually smile. Then I see another hate comment and the smile disappears.

Jin holds the cake while we sing and I blow the candles out. We all sit down on the sofa. Hoseok snuggles next to Yoongi, Namjoon sits on the floor in front of Jin, while Jin massages his head, Tae sits next to Jungkook and I sit in Jungkook's lap.

Cake plates are passed around until everyone but me has one. Tae begins to pass me a piece of the cake.

"Um, I'm not very hungry right now, maybe I'll have some later." I say trying my very best to smile. Then I remember I have the mask on.

"Do you want something else, hyung can make you some other food. It might help you feel better." Namjoon asks. I can tell he's concerned.

"No it's alright I just don't have much of an appetite today."

Jungkook gives me a look, I know he noticed that I lost weight. I didn't mean for him to notice in case him or any of the other members got unnecessarily worried. I purposefully wore clothes that hid it but when he saw me without a shirt it was obvious.

"Min, you should eat something. It really would help your cold."

I nod, "I'll eat later."

—

A few minutes into the V-Live I almost kiss Jungkook. I'm grateful for the mask which reminds me not to. Then it happens again. I scoot farther away. The members are talking but I can't hear anything over how chilled I suddenly feel.

Now that I'm not right up against Jungkook, I notice how cold the room is. I shiver and tuck my hands into the pockets of Jungkook's hoodie, thankfully he let me wear it. I feel a tickle in my nose and stifle five thick wet sneezes into the crook of my elbow. The mask does most of the work but it's all snotty now so I should probably get a new one.

I feel miserable. I almost ask Jungkook for a hug. I have to get out of here before I do something that embarrasses him. Besides, I don't have the energy to pretend to smile anymore.

"Sorry everyone, I'm tired, I'm going to lie down for a bit, okay."

"Alright, at least come say bye before we end the Live." Hoseok says

"You don't have to end the Live, just continue on without me." I say, heading towards the room. I feel dizzy, black spots dance across my vision and then consume everything.