🥀 Love Yourself | Jikook

🎭 So I'll put on a mask to see you again 🔁

I open my eyes and everything is blurry. Slowly my vision clears and I see a familiar face standing over me. Jungkook. A feeling of calmness washes over me, as long as he's here I'm safe.

Then before I even realise what he's doing he plants a kiss on my forehead. His lips are soft and warm against my skin. I try to sit up but can't. Panic sets in, if I can't even sit up how am I supposed to dance.

"It's okay. You're okay. I'm here." He motions for me to breathe with him. I do and it makes me feel better almost immediately. I try to sit up again and this time he helps me.

"Take it easy. You're not well, Min." He croons, helping me sit up. I am acutely aware of his hand on my back.

"Not well?" I question not only my condition but his delicate phrasing.

"You fainted, do you remember that?"

"I just remember really wanting to just sleep, then everything went black and now I'm here."

"That's good, I don't think you hit your head." He says, sounding a bit more like himself now.

I'm so tired and his voice is so soft that I can't help bursting into tears. Before I can stop it it all comes flooding out.

"Kookie, I don't feel good." I hate the whine in my voice but I can't stop it

"I know, baby, I know. Can you tell me what hurts." He hugs me, his grip is gentle but I can still feel his warmth.

I think for a moment "Everything." Then I feel a tickle in my nose and sneeze thickly right into his neck. My face heats up.

"I'mb 'orry." I sniffle pathetically. The last thing I need to do is get Jungkook sick. "I'mb a bess."

"No, no you're not. It's okay, you are not a mess, you have a cold. It happens to everyone."

"You should go, I don't want to get you sick. I've caused enough trouble already."

He looks sadly at me, "Is that how you really feel, Minnie."

I can't help but nod.

"You have never caused me any trouble." He says taking a tissue from the bedside table and wiping my nose. I blush again.

"But" I sob, "I've been a terrible friend."

"No. You have been dealing with a lot, the only person you've been terrible to is yourself." He cups my face in his hands and kisses me.

I try to push him off, what is he doing?

"So what if I get sick?" He shrugs and kisses me again. "You're my boyfriend, I love you." He mumbles the words softly as we kiss. He must see the look of hesitation on my face because he sighs, "Minnie, I sleep right next to you. I'm going to catch this cold anyway." He starts kissing me again and I can't help but reciprocate the actions, an automatic reflex.

When he stops I look straight into his big doe eyes, they're sad. I bet he wishes he didn't love someone like me and even though I know I shouldn't be, I'm so disgustingly happy that he does. Something he said surprises me belatedly.

"You're still my boyfriend?"

He looks a bit shocked. "Yes, I mean if you still want me to be."

"Of course." I answer back too quickly. Again, it's a reflex, a reflex to love, maybe, maybe, just maybe . . . . . I'm not such a very bad terrible person after all. I try to squash down this hope but it won't go. There is still one thing though, in his arms it feels so stupid but I have to know.

"But what about Taehyung?"

His face morphs into an expression of extreme confusion, "Taehyung? . . . . ." then it changes to one of horror. "You didn't think . . . You didn't think that- that I-" His voice breaks into almost nothing. "No, I love you and ONLY you Jimin. Taehyung is like a brother to me, nothing more. YOU are my love, the love of my life. You are my life. You and only you. Do you understand what I just said?"