I can hear someone talking, but I can't make out who it is. The voice is so unfamiliar. I tried to open my eyes but they won't move. Nothing will move. My fingers, My legs. Nothing. I focused on my fingers, trying just to make them twitch. Nothing. I can't stand this. I tried to scream. Nothing. What the fuck is happening ?! All of the sudden the talking stops and I'm all alone again. Where am I? I have hear a constant beeping and that's it. It sounds like a hospital. I would know what a hospital sounds like, I was in one almost 24/7 as a kid. But why? What happened this time? I don't remember anything. Did Dan do this? No! He wouldn't. He couldn't do this to me. I know I haven't known him for long but I've been watching his videos since he started making them three years ago, and I know he wouldn't do this. He just seemed so nice. You should've known. You've been around this so much you should know when someone is like that. No! He didn't do it! Yes he did. No. He wouldn't. He couldn't. No! No! No! Just then I felt someone grab my hand. What? Who was there? I tried to say something but nothing came out. Then I heard it. I heard him talking. It was Dan. I couldn't help it. Fear rushed through me. I couldn't believe that he did this to me. Whatever happened to me. But for some reason I did. I couldn't help but not. His voice was muffled but I knew it was him. Then I felt him put his head down on the bed, still holding my hand. I had given up on trying to move and just let my mind go blank. A few hours later I heard a phone buzzing. Mine? Dan's? I don't know, but I still couldn't move. I felt him get up to go look at it. Ugh! I hate not being able to move, talking, anything! I was never someone for just sitting there doing nothing. I always have to be moving so this is really pissing me off. Then he started talking again. This time it was clear enough for me to hear him.
"CalI? Cali, can you hear me? If you can I just wanted to tell you that Marissa and Phil are on their way over, they went to get a coffee at Starbucks and got caught up with Phil Lions and stuff so they'll be here soon. Please wake up Cali. I hate that this happened and I could've prevented it." So he did do this? Is that was he means? I wish I could just remember!! "If I answered the door this never would've happened." I heard him start to cry. If he answered the door? What? What does that have to do with anything that just happened? Did I get hit on the head with the door or something? Is that why I can't remember? I'm so confused.
I sat there for a few hours, Dan humming a song I didn't know, but I liked it very much. I wish he would never stop. Then I felt it. A twitch. I have never been happier to twitch in my life. Dan stopped humming. I guess he saw it too. I twitched my hand again, and again. Until my eyes fluttered open and I saw Dan's hopeful face light up right in front of mine.
"Hi" Was all I could get out. God my throat hurts like a bitch! "Cali! Oh my God! You're awake! Phil and Marissa just went down to get everyone some food. I can't believe you're awake!" After Dan had calmed down a little bit I heard Phil and Marissa laughing I looked at Dan and said "Shh, I was never awake" and then winked. I just want to hear how Marissa sounds, she always sounded terrible, like a wreck whenever I was in the hospital, but this was the first I have heard her here this whole time. I closed my eyes just before they walked through the door, still laughing. She sounds, happy... Why is she happy? Her best friend is in a coma; I figured that out just before Dan calmed down. Then she spoke, she didn't seem at all upset. "So, how's she doing?" I heard Dan sigh and say "Not good, she still hasn't woken up, twitched, anything. I'm really begining to loose hope." He knew what I wanted to hear, I wanted to hear her say that everything would be okay, that she's worried as well but know's I'll be fine. But she only replied with "Oh." really Marissa? 'Oh'? well I see how much I mean to you now that you have Phil. That's it. I'm done. If I don't have her I don't have anybo- I have Dan, right? I mean, yeah. He's been here the whole time. I actually have someone other than Marissa, I've always only had Marissa. Just then, when I could no longer hold it in I opened my eyes. I looked at her, with tear threatening to burst through as I looked up to see a discusted Marissa. She dosen't want you to be awake. "What? Are you not happy I'm okay?" She just stared at me with that same discusted face, then she looked at Dan. "Really Dan? Not even any twitches? You fucking lied to me. This is important and you lie about it?" She's really getting mad at him. "Don't yell at him! I told him to pretend I never woke up. Considering you haven't been here the whole time I wanted to see if you actually cared, and that discust in your face the moment I opened my eyes tells me you no longer do." She looked hurt, but didn't say anything, Marissa was never the type of person to be speechless, she always had something to say. I looked at Dan and Phil and they had the same open mouth expressions. Why are they all looking at my like that? "What?" I ask. What did I do other then stand up for Dan and myself? I looked back at Marissa. No expression. Nothing but anger. What!?" I say a little louder this time. Then Dan spoke, but not to me, "Marissa, Phil, I think it's best if you guys go home for a bit while she calms down, I'll explain." Marissa and Phil left but as soon and they walked out the door I heard a sob come from Marissa. Suck it up bitch. That's what you get.
Once they were gone Dan looked at me, all he said was "They were busy at the police station. They were giving the statement for me because I didn't want to leave you." Police? Statement? I still so confused. "Uhm, why were they at the police station?" He looked at me confused. "You don't remember?" I shook my head. My vision started to blur at the sudden movement. Suddenly black dots appeared and everything went black. I could hear Dan shouting my name. Then, nothing.
I heard people yelling. I had a bad head ache and this wasn't helping. I felt someone on top of me. Oh god. Did I just die? Everything went quiet as I heard the sound of the heart monitor. Oh thank god, I'm alive. "She's back!" "Heart beat it 120 over 30." (I don't know if that is good doctor language so sorry if it's not.) "Her blood pressure if normal again. She stable. Stop CPR" I opened my eyes and saw a female doctor smiling. "Welcome back Miss Calina, how are you feeling?" There were no other doctors around, did I dream the whole thing? Did the actually do CPR on me? Did I actually die? "I have a head ache. Uhm, what happened?" She looked down at her clipboard although I know she isn't actually looking at anything. "Miss Calina, it appears that your heart stopped for a period of time. 36 minutes to be exact. Is a headache the only thing bothering you right now?" I nodded remembering the blurring vision and black splotches. "Where's Dan?" I wasn't looking at her, just the empy arm chair beside the bed. Did he leave? was he done with all this? I mean I know he doesn't need this in his life right now. Or at all, but still. I thought, I don't know what I thought. I just hoped he would be there. "He had to leave when your heart stopped. Trust me he didn't want to; he tried his best to stay but he kept getting in the doctors way and had to be foracbly removed from the room.
But where is he now...?
