It was nights like these I would dream of
Where I wrangled myself in boys
Where I would feel giddy
I would cry over a movie
I would feel joy from my pets
I yearned for heartbreak
And real adrenaline
From rushing mountains and waters
From roller coasters and rides
I deparaently wished for a harsh disappointment
A failed grade and nitty parties
Where all I worried about was the shoes I were to wear
The way I would do my hair
And the way I would flirt and laugh
Life could be so easy
But who knew easy was the hardest to achieve?
Endless possibilities can feel overwhelming if not taken correctly
I often spiral in the shower as water slips through the drain and leads a separate life outside of my home
My lights and the wats inside the bulb ravishing with energy, but not nearly as much as I had been for those few moments
Everything, everything was so alive
All things were possible
My will was free and to that i became aware
But ignorant enough, I held it wrong in my hand
To me the will was there was too much
So much that would not happen in a world of all things occurring
So friengthening, that, even small bits of jumping into my pool seemed hasty and bottomless as I panic yards away
Only a glass door with a lock and heavy feet blocking our meet
Horribly I tend to forget
That all things are a choice and are chosen perfectly
Precisely, in the order I chose in each particular moment of time.
Perfectly structured, it exists, and will for the rest of time.
Yes, all truly is possible, and you are proving that.
You are doing things and making things happen
Even by laying alone
Hurting,
You are in the hands of free will
And the universe doesn't surround you, nor does she engulf you,
But she lays with you. Because it is you
I look at her and you look back. You see her instead of me. now and forever, always have been and always will be
You, you.
