Scribbles

Coming Home to Rest

It felt like it was just yesterday when she decided to press a pause to all of her activities in the entertainment industry to focus on her next phase of life; life as a wife and a mother. Life that was very different than her life in the limelight, where every single thing she did was dissected by everyone; this life she chose-- was truly the best in its simplicity. And it rooted in one and only thing, love.

Surrounded by love from her husband and son, her heart expanded in the way she never imagined and it gave her sense of fulfillment. She would never need anything else.

Except, she was wrong.

She almost forgot that being an actress was as much part of herself as these new roles of hers were. Scripts were offered left and right and so many had potentials, but she really took a lot of consideration in choosing her first project after her hiatus. She would find something that made her say no at the end; her agency at this point was probably tired about her rejection after rejection.

Deep down, she knew all of those were only her excuses. Her motherly instinct was way too often guilt-tripping her into thinking that she was doing something bad by prioritizing herself over her son.

"Oh, Jagiya, uri alkong's Eomma," her husband's baritone voice scolded her, albeit lovingly, "there's no fault in wanting to get back to your work. You've been putting your life seemingly on hold to take care of us. Don't forget, to keep taking care of us, you need to take care of your happiness, too. If you find something that excites you, please, do not hesitate. We'll manage."

She never felt any luckier in her life than when her husband treated her like a queen. Which was every time.  She reached her hand out to squeeze his. "Thank you, Alkong's Appa, for supporting me."

"I don't want to be the person who makes the whole country cry because one of its finest actress never grazes their screen again." He winked at her.

After letting go of her guilt, she thought it would be easier. Once again, she thought wrong.

It wasn't like she had a preference on the genre, because she didn't. She only wanted the script to talk to her, to resonate with her in personal level, no matter what the genre was. And it was never easy to find a gem like that.

Until one day, an offer to star in the film directed by one of the most sought after Director in Chungmuro came to her. And goodness! The script managed to boil her blood with excitement; the premise was unusual, the plot took her for a rollercoaster ride, but the best part was the dialogues!

The creative actress that she was, she could already imagine in her head how she would act on some specific scenes, what ad-libs she would present to the director, if only the filming timing was right.

"Jagiya, when will your new drama filming begin?" she asked her husband one night, as they enjoyed a quiet dinner together.

"Early August," he answered while putting some beef at his wife's plate. "Why, Jagi?"

"Oh." She mumbled with disappointment. "It's probably not good to leave uri Alkong at the same time."

"Wait, what happened? Do you finally find the one?"

She had shared her difficulties in finding her next work with him, and he wisely said that she would know when she found the one.

"Sometimes, it wasn't us that chose the script. The script chose us. Take your time, you'll find the one soon."

"I think so?"

"Omo, the filming industry will rejoice!"

"But the filming also starts in August. What about our son?"