Empire of Dreams

*26*

I almost felt my breath being knocked out. He looked tired and informal. I had never seen the Archduke like this before. His curls were ruffled in a haphazard way and his eyes looked as if they had never known sleep.

"I am sorry if I disturbed you. I did not know...." I trailed off.

I couldn't help but notice every little detail about him, it was intoxicating.

"What are you reading?" I asked and I hated how flustered I sounded.

"I am actually writing, my lady. We have such a grand event tomorrow, you surely understand that I have to look after the arrangements. I am currently writing the cheques"

"Oh, then I shall not pester you. Good night, Archduke"

I turned away, already learning the titles to check out tomorrow.

"Stay" came his hoarse voice. His grey eyes held a troubled and pleading look at the same time.

"I apologise my lady. You need the sleep.... You should rest" he said hurriedly, as if just realising what he had asked me for.

"I'll stay" I cut him off with a smile. The Archduke smiled and that moment I felt as if all my sins would be forgiven just for bringing that smile on his face.

We were both looking at each other, smiles on our faces, then suddenly realising, we both looked away. The library was suddenly so much more interesting. I could see him looking down at the papers, but he was stealing glances at me just as I was.

"I wonder if the people would like me..." I wondered aloud, taking a seat.

The though had been disturbing me since a long time. I wanted to be seen as a Queen and for that people needed to love me. But, what if they didn't? I would rather be an unknown queen than an unloved one.

"Don't worry so much my lady, it will all be fine. Trust yourself and if you will, trust me" He squeezed my palm and then got back to his signing business.

For a moment, a thought ran through me- I would love it if my life looked like this. But then flashed through my mind the conversation with Edward. It was dangerous for a future queen to dream about the life of a commoner noble. All of a sudden it was not a moment of happiness, but sadness.

"I'll go and rest now if you don't mind. See you tomorrow"

"See you tomorrow my lady and don't worry, you'd be the perfect Archduchess if that's what you want to be" he assured.

It had been years since I had last cried but here they were, tears threatening to spill. I almost ran back to my room, then threw myself on the bed and began to cry. I wanted love. I wanted to be respected and loved and cared for. But I also wanted to be a queen. I couldn't hold on to both the things at once. I had come here in the hopes of getting to know more people in order to gain support for my future reign, not to begin caring for the Archduke.

I cried for I knew he would never get peace if I married him and it would he so unfair to him. If anyone else had spoken spoken these words, I would've sent them off but I knew Edward. If he decided he wanted to make me a Queen, there was no one to overrule him. It would pit me against Elizabeth and Mary but there was nothing I could do!

I spent most of the night overthinking and crying but I fell asleep sometime near dawn. When Anne came to wake me up, I refused to and turned to the other side.

"Wake up Jane, it's already morning. You'll be late if you don't get up now! You don't want to be late to your first ball here, do you?"

I was still hesitant but I woke up. Anne patted my back absent-mindedly then called for Sia.

"Dress her up well. It should go with the theme yet stand out. I wasn't prepared for this level of elaborate planning! You must alter the dresses immediately! Jane, don't sit waiting! Go take a bath! It's a very important day!"

I was woken up properly by the ice cold water.

"I don't have time to heat the water, I need to fix this gown first" Sia nonchalantly replied when asked for the reason behind my unreasonably cold bath.

I was soon dressed up and Anne came with her gown so we could get ready together. It honestly seemed more natural with her than I had ever felt with my own mother. I wished Kathyrn was here though. She loved dressing up.

Lady Conway sent two of her maids to call us down and in a hurry, Anne and I left my room. I laughed nervously at every joke Mr. Conway tried to crack to lighten the mood but it was clear we were all anxious for our own reasons.

Once it was time for welcoming each member and announcing them at this unconventional ball, Mr and Mrs Conway took our leave. Liselle and Weston then joined us.

"You look pretty" I told them with a smile.

"As do you, my lady" Liselle replied while Weston nodded in agreement.

We were discussing the dresses and the weather when Mrs Conway gestured for Liselle and Weston. It must be time to be announced.

Anne squeezed my hand assuringly.

"You look lovely. Be confident out there, soon-to-be Queen" she said.

Anne looked absolutely regal when she was entered the gardens. The teal gown she was wearing complimented her fair skin and the pearls shone their beauty on her.

"Lady Jane Grey!" They announced and a silence spread over the people. They were excited to see me.

I slowly walked down the path, careful not to trip or ruin any of the decorations. I could see some people nodding with approval, many smiled at me and then finally I reached the Archduke who extended a hand towards me.

"You look like a goddess" he said before sweeping me towards the dancers.