Empire of Dreams

*34*

It felt weird to be back home. I knew all the creaks and flaws of the house, but I didn't when it had stopped being mine.

The servants were in a rush, moving things and cooking and cleaning. I went into my mother's room first, but she was asleep. Then I checked Mary's room, she wasn't there. Lastly I took a deep breath and opened the doors to Kathyrn's rooms.

She was freshly out of the bath perhaps, because she was still getting dressed. She was brushing her strawberry blonde hair. I hesitated. The last time we were together, we jad fought, a lot. I didn't want to ruin her wedding, but I also didn't want to miss it.

She hadn't sent me an invitation personally and I wasn't going to force my way into the wedding. Edward asked me to drop the stupid fight and go but when I refused, he ordered me to go as his representative.

Watching her now, sitting in front of the mirror combing her hair, I realised something I'd never realised before perhaps. She was her own person. She was a beautiful, capable young lady and she had a life of her own and was making her own mark on the world.

It suddenly seemed as if her room was echoing her thoughts in my mind- you're so self absorbed you never noticed your little sister. You didn't even realise when she grew up. You weren't there for her when she needed you. You left her alone. All you've cared for in the past few years was the throne. The throne and nothing else.

I had never felt so guilty before. Standing there in the doorway, it seemed as if I didn't know the person I was watching. I didn't know who she was and what she liked and what she did all day long. All the times I chased Kathyrn in the garden, how she used to tend to my fake wounds, how she used to sing in her angelic voice, how soft her hair was, how perfect she always was, everything was flashing through my mind.

As if sensing my regret, Kathyrn turned around. Her face was glowing under the sunlight entering the room through the windows. Her face was expressionless, which was worse, because knowing she was angry would be better than guessing whether she was angry or not.

She walked up to me silently. I could feel myself shaking, tears already warming my face. Why was I panicking so much? The thought struck me and I suddenly felt as of the room was swaying. I would've fallen straight to the ground if Kathyrn hadn't caught me, but I still did pass out.

I could feel that I was passed out for a moment. I couldn't feel my body, but I was conscious of everything around me. Suddenly the darkness around me lifted and I knew I was having a vision again. Kathyrn's marriage is annulled. I am dead. She blames me for her destruction. I am probably the wrong one here.

The scene had shifted. Kathyrn is with the current queen which is Mary and their father is dead, leaving their mother behind as a widow. The scene shifted again.

There is an enbalmed dead body. I move close only to realise that it's Mary. She must've suffered some kind of illness. Har body looks sick. But why is Kathyrn here? Why is Mary dead?

I understand clearly then that I was dreaming. Once again I was at crossroads, just like I had been at back when the first dream came. It was what could happen. But if I was dreaming again, there must definitely be some way I can fix this.

I can finally open my eyes. My mother and Kathryn both get up at once, coming to my bedside.

"What happened?" Kathyrn asked, concern clear in her voice. 

"Nothing," I gently rubbed her shoulder, "I just realised how much I miss my little sister"

I could tell from her expression that she was confused but she was clearly still discontent.

"Kathyrn, I know you are extremely angry and don't want to speak to me, but hear me out. Think at how much time we spent together. You were barely six years old when I went to the Seymour household. We have lived totally different lives! You grew up and so did I and somewhere in between, a gap grew between us. I was struck by how different you looked just now! I still remember the little Kathyrn with hair like boys, treating my phantom wounds and scars. We never got a chance to heal each other's internal scars like real sisters do.

I understand now why you were so angry that day. There is no point in deceiving you when the truth is apparent. I am closer to Mary and Elizabeth than I am to you because I spent my girlhood with them, while with you I spent my childhood. We outgrew a lot of things since then, Kathyrn and maybe unintentionally, we outgrew each other too."

Kathryn kept looking at me as if in a trance after I finished speaking. I had so much more to say, but I wanted to hear. I wanted to listen to what she had to say. Our mother tried to say something, but we both gestured her to stop.

I kept looking at her intently. At first she spoke nothing. Then she hugged me and whispered in my ear, "I forgive you"