Empire of Dreams

*28*

The shared downpour had changed everything. I had fallen in love with the Archduke.

On the carriage ride back I kept thinking about what to do next. My mother had been delighted when I was marrying the Archduke but she was not a fool to believe in love. What she cared about was securing her eldest daughter the richest match and that the son of the Duke of Northumberland currently.

According to courtly positions, an archduchess was higher in the hierarchy that a duchess but politics wasn't that simple. The Duke of Northumberland had successfully gained the conplete support and control of the King while Archduke Conway had been busy caring for his family.

I didn't blame him for having a beating heart in this world of heartless people, but this was a blunder in terms of social status. He had lost the power even if he held on to the position. I could increase their influence though, if I decided to marry into the family. But that was practically impossible right now because my father had struck a deal with the Duke of Northumberland and that meant the King had consented somehow.

I hadn't been sure where I stood with the Archduke which was why I hadn't told Edward much about him but now, I had made things a lot more troublesome for myself. There were many things in my mind- Edward's offer for the throne, my marriage, my spat with Kathyrn, Mary and Elizabeth, what would happen to my parents if I refused the duke and what would be the consequences if I turned down the Archduke.

I couldn't think rationally. I knew love took time, but I had grown to love the Duke in this brief period of time. What mattered to me even more now was that I was facing the toughest choice any woman of England had ever faced:- The sacred throne or the soulmate. I knew this choice could make all the difference. It could change my life forever. It could change England forever.

I hadn't discussed the letter with anyone yet. I was waiting eagerly to discuss it with Aunt Catherine the moment I reached England. I wondered if Edward was reconsidering his offer to make me the Queen now. If I married the Duke, he would want to make me the Queen. I had seen that happen in my dream already. What I feared was the consequence of turning him down.

I fell asleep sometime in between and was shaken awake by Anne when we reached the castle. For a moment I remembered the morning of the ball when she had woken me up in a hurry. Life was so uncomplicated back then. I smiled politely and muttered a quick thank you but Anne squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"Just remember, whenever you have to choose, ask whether this is a question to you because you're in the line to the throne or because you are a woman in the line to the throne"

I would never forget that in my life. It was what made me reach a conclusion. I got off this carriage and boarded another one. The servants back here had already packed up all my belongings and whatever I had taken with me on this trip was transferred swiftly.

Catherine was brought out quickly and we started out for Westenhanger. It took us only a few hours to reach there. The brick castle was far away from most of the people and we were sure to find peace there. The servants there were alerted and soon the rooms were prepared and lunch was served. It was windy outside so I ordered the servants to open the windows.

"So, something you want to tell me?" Aunt Catherine asked with concern.

"I do have something to tell you, but I am not sure if I can do that just yet...."

It was the truth. So much had happened that I wasn't sure what I was even doing. I was confused about who to confide in and worried how everyone will react when they found out everything.

"You should know that I am here for you Jane. I am here to hear you out, whenever you want" she flashed me a quick smile.

The rest of the lunch was spent silently. Mary tugged at Aunt Catherine's skirt until she got up. Now I was alone at the table. I wondered how I was suddenly so lonely. I couldn't find anyone to talk with.

Mary was the rightful heir to the throne, being the eldest child of the King, but she was more of a planner than executioner. Elizabeth was full of anger and resentment. She wanted the throne as a revenge from her father. She was free willed and would make an amazing explorer, but her anger stopped her from admitting it. Then there was I, no resentment, no anger, no ego, but still trained to do all this.

I was up for the job. I knew I could handle being the queen, but I wanted to do this my way. I wasn't interested in becoming a puppet queen. England's first queen would be strong. That was what I had to be. But right now I just wanted my plan to work. I would force them to call off the marriage contract with the Duke of Northumberland and let me marry the Archduke.

I just had a feeling that this scheme would make me lose more than I gain.