Empire of Dreams

*35*

It felt odd, to call this place my home. I was born in a room here, I took my first steps in these halls, I saw Kathyrn's birth and then Mary's and soon I was gone. It was as if I had already been sold into a marriage.

Speaking of marriage, I felt the urge to confront my father about the Archduke but whenever I thought about how he was dead, probably because of his association to me, I felt so guilty that I wanted to bury that secret deep in my heart.

It was obvious that he was killed because of me. He wasn't politically active enough to make enemies and his subjects loved him. But being an Archduke was one thing and him being the potential king was another. He was killed because of me, one way or other, one reason or another.

Nobody in their right mind would harm him uselessly and he wasn't much of a threat to anyone until he almost became my husband. I had found myself wondering late at night- would I have said yes if he had proposed marriage that day? The answer was- I would've. I hadn't known him long, it had been just two meetings, but I had never known someone as humble and caring as him.

With all these thoughts clogging my mind, I drank tea in the garden, watching the townsfolk pass by. Servants constantly came in or went out, ignoring my presence for purpose. It was a surreal vision, them working so dedicatedly. Some people had a life outside royalty. I could survive without royalty probably, but it was clear I was made for it.

Mary was a great baker so she could've opened her own shop or she could become an ambassador like never seen before. She was clear and concise in speech and clever enough to crack any deal yet she was forced to live a life where all she was supposed to care about was marriage and bloodline.

Elizabeth was young and lively. She was the best cartographer to ever exist in England and could lead a thousand expeditions and bring in resources for the country if not stopped by the thought of finally avenging her mother. People said she was like the king, but I had always felt she was the true embodiment of Queen Anne. It was my misfortune that I never met the queen but from the stories and portraits, I've always seen Elizabeth as her true copy. Her rightful heir.

My mother had never liked Anne. She approved only of the King's first wife but because my father was always adamant on her being in the king's good graces, she kept her mouth shut and head down in front of every Queen. If there was one thing though that I truly believed in, it would be that each queen was capable and worthy and most importantly, innocent. For ages, kings have disposed off their wives by accusing them madly and people have agreed with the king because they believed he was god's son.

People called Queen Anne names, but I have always respected her. Her boldness to openly defy the Catholic practices while living in a catholic nation, her wits that made Henry follow her orders even if momentarily, her love for the king to try and produce a male heir while still not over the grief of losing a child, her courage to stand for herself when everyone schemed and accused her of adultery and her martyrdom for the subjects she worked so hard for- it was all in vain just because she was a woman.

Henry VIII was the king and is now dead, so speaking ill of him would make no sense but it would bring a sense of justice for the Queens. He was the problem, cheating on the ever loyal Katherine of Aragon, taking credit for all of Anne's schemes and policies, never letting the peacemaker Jane get recognised for her actual contribution to the country by describing her only credible deed in life to be bearing his son, disrespecting Anne of Cleves when all she wanted was his happiness and satisfaction, murdering the young Catherine Howard for loving someone her age instead of the old dying king and finally marrying Catherine Parr for the sake of marrying, not because he could provide for her in any way. That was Henry's legacy and though Edward was young, it was clear that he would a king with the habits and practices of his father. That was why England needed a Queen and it did not matter to me whether the Queen was me, Mary or Elizabeth, what mattered was the change England needed.

I was thankful to be born in a comparitively peaceful household, but I always wondered how purposeful and powerful it must feel to have such strong-willed blood flow in your veins. I wondered how Mary and Elizabeth lived with all that pressure.

They would arrive day after tomorrow and Edward would attend the wedding and by then, she wanted to have confronted her father and smoothed things over with Kathyrn.

She would do all that but as she dozed off in the warm sun on her back, she dreamed of carrying forward the Queens' legacies by changing England forever.