Lost Soul

Chapter Twenty

A/N Wow, it's been a while since I got to chapter 20. Sweet.

The lumpy mattress is familiar. Not familiar in the usual way, but with true recognition. Soul wakes up knowing himself. Then, after a moment, lets out a low groan and grumbles at the coming day. Red hates mornings. The heaviness tugging at his eyes doesn't help. The UnderFell Sans stretches out his cramped limbs and reluctantly sits up. He grabs his jacket up off the floor and gives it a cursory sniff to make sure that it doesn't smell too bad. It needs a wash. Red shrugs it on anyways and stands up. He almost teleports downstairs, but then hesitates at the memory of what happened last time. Red heaves a massive sigh before turning to the door to take the stairs.

The usual clatter of pots and pans greets Red as he steps into the kitchen. Boss is standing in front of the stove as he scrutinizes two different cans. Slipping into a chair at the table, the creak of the furniture gives away Red's presence as he slouches down.

"Red. I'm surprised that you're up already. Your good behavior doesn't usually last this long." Boss gives Red a long look, studying him.

"Don't cha have any faith in me?" Red huffs. "You should be happy that I'm 'showing initiative' or some crap." Red quotes from a lecture that Undyne gave him yesterday when she caught him sleeping on the job.

"........ Are you still having those nightmares?" Boss finally asks, a hint of concern entering his voice.

Red shrinks under his brother's scrutinizing gaze. It's been hard to sleep. Ever since the last meeting between the original AUs, Red has been having nightmares: nightmares of being puppeted around without any control over his body. Red woke up shortly after Soul had been detained in Cherry's body. He was disoriented and confused to have woken up somewhere outside of his AU. He didn't understand at first when Sci tried explain what had happened to him. Possession? Yeah, right. Who'd believe that? The again, this strange haziness and spotty memory is familiar. Has it happened before? Ever since, Red has been paranoid that he's going to wake up one morning and not be himself.

The lack of an answer is enough confirmation for Boss. "You're being stupid if you think that I wouldn't notice some wandering ghost taking you over. Now that I know to look, it's impossible that anyone could trick me. You have nothing to worry about."

"Would you? Would you really notice? Would I notice?" Red finally speaks. It feels good to be able to show some vulnerability around his brother. Boss wouldn't have tolerated it even a year ago.

A sudden chill runs down Red's spine as his brother begins to go on a well-meaning rant. He- They- I'm worried about..... me. Soul blinks his eyes a few times and turns to face Boss more directly as the older talks. Red is scared of Soul. Guilt strangles Soul, and a loud ringing sound starts up in his head. He shouldn't be here. Red is right to be afraid. Not for the first time, Soul finds himself thinking over the consequences of his existence. Is it fair to steal a piece of people's lives in order to keep existing? Is his life worth it? Soul wishes that Error were here. It's so much easier to ignore his worries when he has someone who doesn't balk from all that Soul is. Talking about these things is hard, but Soul resolves himself to try the next time that Error comes to find him.

"-Red? Red! Are you even listening!?" Boss snaps.

"W-What?" Red stutters, snapping out of his daze.

Boss scoffs. "Why do I even bother?"

Why couldn't he have just paid attention? Red curses at himself. Boss was being all open and comforting, in his own way, and Red has to ruin it. The smaller skeleton monster sighs quietly before sliding out of his chair. He should get to his post.