I almost couldn't believe it. We had so much in common. Our childhood homes were 15 minutes apart. From where I live now she will be living 20 minutes away. I was an eager beaver to say the least.
Still in constant communication, things got even better for me. I started listening to new music she showed me and I actually enjoyed it. These days I enjoyed everything, even Ed Sheerans wack ass sounded like a symphony.
With her coming, I had to reassess my feelings. Although they were dormant, I wanted them gone. I knew I was falling but more than anything I knew I couldn't handle rejection from her. I mentioned the notion before to her but her calm demeanor was hard for me to decipher if she liked the idea or not. Fear of asking led me to cutting all my feelings off completely and dissociating.
One week before she moved, I got a call from my little brother. My brother and I loved watching horror movies together and talking through them. The garbage quality and dumb plot lines were ripe for comedy. Sadly he had a girlfriend now and she would be joining. So I of course invited my new friend Samantha to go with me the weekend she got here. IT chapter 2 was something I was looking forward to anyways, but now It'll be a test of whether we can watch movies together. I love movies but I have to talk through them. My autistic brain likes experiencing it through different lenses and people who share their input give me real insight to see them a new way from a different angle. I just couldn't wait to hang out.
I bought all the tickets ahead of time so money wasn't an issue and told her we could ride in my truck as I couldn't wait to show it to her. She not only agreed but was excited to go. " I hope you like me in person!" She asked me. What a stupid thing to say.
