I learned very soon that she had just gotten out of a relationship. Enlightened with wonder and hope my mind ran wild. Our children, our home, and our farm were painted fluidly, sloshing my thoughts with a paint of pure purple. Focus was absent from me. Daydreaming of her in my arms filled my time and exhumed the feelings I had buried deep.
Dread overcame me when I went to take a step towards her. Everything is against us. She lives in Louisiana, a 5 hour drive away. She had JUST gotten out of a relationship. Oh and also I had absolutely no shot. As if this goddess would kneel down and offer me her touch. Her company was enough to fulfill me forever.
Once again I chewed and choked down all the romance that was swallowing me, wrestling with myself in a cage.
Texts turned to tornadoes pulling me from reality and into the world we had together. A world full of humor and grammatical carnage.
I tried to take my mind off of her by trying to date a very nice girl like her.
It was like pouring water on an oil fire. Trying to find a replacement for such a perfect fit created resentment towards myself. I found conversations with anyone else boring. Her words tiptoed and danced. The flat dead words of all others fell short of my ears. There was no music in their speech. No melody in their voice. Their drab words pressed on my temples like a razor. I couldn't bare to be away from her.
I had found a twin flame, burning alongside me. She shared fears and dreams with me. We were so similar and yet her flames burned through mine, picking me up and scratching at my walls. I wanted to burn hotter and brighter than her.
I found a friend, but more importantly a rival, Someone who I could knock heads with to sharpen my horns. Our intellect was evenly matched and clashed violently. I wanted to be better. I was inspired. I could lean on her when I was weak to hold me up. The feelings of romance went dormant and I allowed myself to see her as a person and not a woman. As a human, she was everything I wanted to be. The embodiment of my ideal self.
