Standing in the shower later that day, my cheeks sore still bore a smile wider than a horizon. I was going to tell her how I truly felt tonight. I'm a creep but I don't care. After 24 hours of meeting her I would hold her hand and confess my undying love. After calling her to make sure she's awake i mustered up my faith in god and prayed that just this once, please allow me to take responsibility of one of his angels.
The drive to see her again was nerve wracking. I hope she didn't think back on it and feel different today.
She had on jeans and a blue shirt. Only sleeping for a couple hours she still skipped to me. I felt a tear roll down before I composed myself. I was overwhelmed to be validated. I opened her door for her and eased her into the seat. We locked eyes and she smiled.
In the seat next to me she stole my hand and squeezed it before I could put it in reverse. How immeasurably blissful.
In the afternoon sun we left towards my house but she was now my home. Anywhere she is.
Rolling on the dirt the shade from great oaks and pines covered our path. I felt like I was leaving church on a Sunday with the warmth on my face.
Arriving at my house, my father greeted her and my mother ignored her. We sat with my father and talked about food.
She spoke of the gumbos and ettouffes and her unprecedented talent for casseroles. My father was won over. I was happy and he had someone else to talk about cooking with. She looked so relieved my father liked her.
Leading her to my bedroom I suddenly thought ahead at the last second. Shit shit shit I haven't cleaned this thing in days. I told her to wait a minute while I frantically looked for somewhere to throw my clothes and something to spray.
She entered my room and the smell of Hollis red cologne visibly punched her in the mouth. Hey it's better than feet. She looked at my projector and my stereo. She saw my guitar and her eyes lit up.
"You still play" she asked shyly knowing it was a sore subject for me.
Would you like me to play for you?
She nodded rapidly and took a seat on the brand new never used right side of the bed. The left side was caved in and curved where I hung my leg off the edge every night. I sat next to her and fumbled for a pick.
My fingers sprinted to the fretboard and I softly played letting my emotions guide me. For an hour I selfishly got lost playing my heart out to her. A soft ballad on a Gretsch electromatic.
Looking up as my fingers got tired I witnessed her devouring me. Her eyes looking up at me with a hunger and appreciation for me. I always heard playing for girls made them like you but damn she was stricken. I didn't honestly intend to swoon her. I just wanted to share my old passion before the embers died.
I lay back still tired and she joined me. Our eyes fell heavy and we drifted off together, hands clasped and hearts in unison.
I woke with my head on her lap. She had studied me the way I did to her in the truck. She rubbed her fingers against my face like painting in the sand.
I looked into her open and vulnerable. I couldn't give her the whole truth. I've never felt so deeply loved and in love. I had to make it somewhat known. I had to let her know. The lights in my room faded in and out like a rainbow, Gods promise of peace and love. Our silence and thundering breaths pulsed us in and out of reality.
I looked up at her with my hands now tightly wrapped in hers. Weakly stating "sss...Samantha."
She didn't respond. Her face soft and looking through to the real me. I could only feel leveled. Her syrupy eyes warming my soul and pumping my heart. Her eyes. I whispered to her like a wounded dog, " I really really really like you." Unable to keep my composure I looked away and waited. It was as if she was able to see through my silly charade. I felt her arms pull me into hers and she stroked my hair. She began to cry. Her face nuzzled into mine and her tears wet my cheeks. "I love you too." She boldly said. Our lips met for the second time and stitched us into one, a great tapestry with dual murals. Our lives had intertwined and our hearts reached out to snatch their other half.
After soaking it in for minute I asked her confusedly, " can we like be boyfriend and girlfriend?" She laughed and stated, "we already are dumbass."
I hope I get to hear those lips and that voice and that soul call me a dumbass echoing in the waters of eternity where I'll return to the beach and wash away in peace.
